As a wife, do you feel like that the spark has faded away in your marriage? Or do you feel you are no longer attractive to your man? If that’s what you are thinking about your marriage, it is a warning sign that your relationship starts to deteriorate. You should not regard the spark in love as a one-time thing; on the contrary, it can exist with your marriage all the time, and it is possible to reignite your attraction to your man.
And the following are 7 tips on how to get him interested in you again:
1 No need to be too nice all the time:
Always being too nice can poison a relationship. And it is disgusting to live with a person who fawns on others deliberately; on the other hand, it is also innocuous to show off your true colors from time to time.
Like a lot of married women who have been in a marriage for a lot of years, when you are confused about how to get your husband to be interested in you again, you may also consider being nicer to him; but everything should have its limit, being overly nice to him will only be counterproductive – when you are too nice, something bad may happen, such as below:
- When you are always giving, he may expect that of you.
- You may develop unrealistic expectations of him.
- He may come to you only when he needs you.
- You may forget about being kind to yourself.
- You will be viewed as being weak.
- He may not trust you.
- You may become too needy.
- You may engage in addictive behavior.
Furthermore, since earliest childhood, most of us have already been taught to be wary of overly nice people, probably, your man also has such a traditional mindset about this issue.
So, it is better to stick to be yourself in your marriage. Nobody is perfect, and being a little bad, a little dirty does not hurt each other in a relationship; however, while you are trying to be yourself, don’t let your man feel that you are banal and a dime-a-dozen.
2 Be his confidence booster:
Your husband may feel down once in a while, and your encouraging words may go a long way with him. Contrary to his external appearance, he often craves for affection and compliments like a baby, he needs to feel that his wife values him as well as things that he does for the marriage, and he wants you to validate his image of himself to boost his confidence.
When a woman compliments a man, generally he will not come right out to tell her that he likes it because getting compliments from his woman is a secret emotional need; and directly asking for compliments is also not manly for him. Therefore, don’t make the mistake of assuming that he doesn’t want to be complimented just because he is unwilling to speak it out openly.
So, in your married life, you might take the initiative to tell him subtly or directly whatever you love about him; in a nutshell, the more you boost his confidence, the more open he will be with you.
3 Pamper him regularly and randomly:
It is always important to meet his intellectual and emotional needs. The information about what he likes most should be at your fingertips, such as his favorite movies, books, colors, clothes, dishes, snacks, and drinks. So you might surprise him occasionally by giving him one of his favorites as a gift, and keep those gifts ready for your husband when he returns home. When you realize that your husband is vulnerable and needs some pampering, you should learn to fully accept all the pros and cons of your significant half, and adapt yourself to his moods at that moment.
4 Make him feel encouraged:
Lead him to focus on the positive side of things. Especially when an unlucky or unfortunate event happens to him, encourage him to put more focus on the positive and less focus on the negative, otherwise, he is apt to feel depressed so that he will lose interest in things and people around him, even you are also included.
When he failed in his attempt to do something, timely encourage him by recognizing all the work that he has done so far and tell him you still have belief in his ability to handle things. Even though he makes a blunder, you do not have to seize the opportunity to put him down, instead, just remind him to ponder and reflect upon himself. Whatever the outcome, please appreciate his efforts. Even when you sense he is overwhelmed by negative emotions (e.g. anger, sadness, depression, and frustration), you might also allow him to vent out his feelings at you; this can yet be regarded as a way to encourage him to open up to you.
A man likes the sense of power over his partner or the sense that his partner is always behind him because it makes him feel more encouraged and secure, even though that sense is kind of vague.
5 Give him respect:
A lack of respect for a husband is a common reason why he lost interest in his wife in a marriage. When you are puzzled about how to get your husband interested in you again, it is necessary to ask yourself whether you have made him feel respected in this long term relationship.
There are no husbands who don’t want to be respected by their wives. Imagine that kind of respect that you think that you deserve, or imagine the amount of respect that you want to receive, and then imagine that he thinks the same way; actually, men regard this emotional need more highly than women in a marriage. For a married woman, generally, her highest need is to feel loved; but for a married man, the highest need in the marital relationship is to be respected. For example, he wants you to respect his judgment, he wants you to respect his abilities, he wants you to respect him when you are in communication with him, he wants you to respect him in public, he wants you to respect him when you assume something serious about him…
When it comes to how to respect your husband, you should pay attention to the two points below:
- Let him feel that you value his presence in word and deed,
- Your man wants to earn the respect that he deserves, and respect is not charity – he never wants you to give respect to him for charity and mercy.
For more tips on how to make your husband feel respected, you might go on to read the post below:
5 tips on how to make your husband feel loved and respected.
6 Increase your sexual sensitivity:
Try to be more sensitive to your husband, especially when you are in bed. When it comes to sex, men are hypersensitive creatures. The feeling of not being able to satisfy his woman can be discouraging for him. Likewise, if you feel dissatisfied with his performance in bed, it is prone to put down his morale. Therefore, you should properly compliment him on his bed performance as long as it is not too poor, and tell him that you feel good when having sex with him…
To keep your husband interested in you sexually, you should make conscious efforts to boost his spirit, and invigorate him; only in this way can you encourage him to perform better in bed. The more you boost his libido, the more he will get addicted to the world of you.
For more tips on how to increase your sexual sensitivity, you might go on to read the posts below:
How to seduce your husband with words – Sexually arouse him.
How to turn on your husband again – Arouse your husband.
7 Provide emotional safety:
Normally, you may have an urge to scold or even hit your husband in a fit of bad temper when he has done something wrong or critical that is bound to upset or disappoint you; in such a situation, he knows well your feelings when you resent him or get angry at him; Imagine your husband as a naughty kid who finds his behavior has made trouble for his teacher, it is natural for him to attempt to avoid the sight of the teacher; to avoid the teacher’s punishment. Yes, this sounds very immature for an adult, but a lot of husbands often take this approach to dealing with his wrongdoings.
Keeping his distance from you is not conducive to the emotional connection between you; to win back your man’s attention that you crave, you must be aware that it will only be counter-productive if you attempt to get his attention back by criticizing or retaliating against him.
In response to this situation, you should encourage your husband to talk more to you, and let him feel that you would like to listen to him without preconceived bias or judgment. Even though what he did is indeed a serious mistake, as long as the issue is still forgivable, you might try your best to forgive him in a calm and sympathetic manner; for example, you may speak to him in a calm voice and keep smiling at him. Keeping yourself emotionally safe ensures a more harmonious place where your husband can share more feelings with you. The more secure he feels in your relationship, the more attention he is willing to pay to you.
The final word:
In general, when a husband feels that he gets enough of his wife, he loses interest in her. Understandably, you may feel anxious in the relationship, now you want more love and better behavior from your man. But to hold your man’s interest, you do not have to nag, lose your mind, or use manipulation; you also don’t have to be particularly witty, and intelligent, and you also do not need to resort to short-term solutions like making him jealous or acting cold; you should learn to awaken his desire to chase you and earn your love continuously.
For more marriage-saving tips on how to get your husband interested in you again, you might go on to watch the video below to follow the comprehensive guidance that is offered by Brad Browning, a marriage coach with 12+ years of experience:
Maybe, you are also interested in the related posts below:
How to attract your husband emotionally – 6 tips to attract him towards you.
How to deal with an emotionally distant husband – Make him open up.
How to keep him obsessed with you – Your man’s secret obsession.
What should you do when your husband says he hates you?
How to mend the marriage when your husband says hurtful words.
When your marriage is stale, how to fix it and keep it alive.