In a marriage, a wife needs to experience a strong sense of security from her husband, and she wants him to stay committed to developing a long-term relationship. But numerous wives complain that their husbands just don’t fulfill their basic emotional needs in their marital life. Due to a husband’s lack of understanding about a wife’s emotional needs, his wife may pull away from him; but in fact, she needs him emotionally and expects him to get to know her better by himself. Surely, a married woman’s emotional needs vary from woman to woman, but wives share their basic emotional needs in common.
The following focuses on the discussion of 4 major emotional needs of a wife:
1 A wife wants her husband to be dedicated to providing financial support for the family:
Yes, it seems that money just belongs to material things. But to make a woman feel emotionally secure in a long-term relationship, she needs the assurance that her man is committed to providing stable financial support for the family. So even though her man’s financial ability is relatively low at present, generally she expects him to be a better person who can offer her and children stronger financial security in the future.
In this respect, a man can communicate his financial commitment in 3 ways below:
- Seek better employment opportunities aggressively:
Understandably, in a low-income family, if a husband is always unambitious and chooses to be stuck in a dead-end job rather than knock on doors to seek a potentially better job, it tends to create her wife’s chronic resentment and depression. In a wife’s eyes, her husband should actively seek a better job not only because of the consideration of money support for the family but also because of her original expectation that her husband should strive to achieve better career achievements.
- Be a faithful and hard worker:
A woman cares about a man’s attitude toward his work, and she is happy to know that her man is hard-working, faithful, and honest when it comes to his working attitude. On the other hand, if he is lazy and dishonest at work, or if he changes his job too frequently, he actually disappoints his woman because such behavior also sacrifices his woman’s security in the marriage to some extent.
- Being a wise money manager:
When it comes to household financial management, a woman will feel more secure if her husband always acts as a diligent steward of money. This does not mean he has to be tight or stingy with the family’s money without a reason, this just refers to a committed and actively involved role in the household financial management; most married want their men to work together with them to wisely manage the family’s money and resources.
2 A wife wants her husband to show more care to her than to anyone and anything else:
A woman may feel a little insecure, when she notices that her man is too preoccupied with something/someone outside the relationship, or when she feels emotionally detached from her man in some way. She wants her man to take the initiative to tune into her concerns and needs without reminding or forcing. And if a husband can keep caring for his wife properly, a woman can instinctively discern his goodwill for her, hence she will feel secure and happy in the relationship.
A husband may not truly understand how important feeling cared is for his wife:
In a marriage, a wife never stops observing her husband’s daily behavior to recognize whether her man is still committed to caring for her or not. From this point, the relationship between a wife and a husband is more or less similar to the relationship between a worker and a boss. A wife is like a worker; almost all workers want to receive more care because of their hard work, but it depends on their bosses. If they find that they are working for a generous and selfless boss, they are apt to feel optimistic and secure. On the contrary, if they are employed by a selfish, overly demanding, and distracted boss, no wonder, they will easily lose the sense of joy and security when working.
A wife is sensitive to her husband’s actions:
In a marriage, a woman’s sense of well-being and prosperity greatly depends on her man. Women are much more sensitive to their partners’ attitudes and actions, and it seems that a woman can always find a good excuse/reason to justify herself to justify her over-sensitiveness. In a lot of men’s eyes, their women’s response to their actions can be over-sensitive unexpectedly from time to time, and sometimes they think that their women think too much for them. (However, as a husband, you have to understand and accept this as a woman’s natural instinct.
And if you feel sort of uncomfortable with her over-sensitiveness, you might try the perspective-taking – imagine yourself as a worker and imagine your woman as a boss (the paragraph mentions that your wife can be imagined as a worker in the relationship of worker and boss), and what it would be like if a sensitive and caring boss comes to you and cares about you from time to time, and speaks some warms words like “I have been thinking about you recently, are you satisfied with your current job and income? And I wonder whether I need to offer you something to make you love your job more.”) Almost every employed person dreams of such a kind-hearted boss. Likewise, in a marital relationship, a woman also badly wants to have a man who can always hold that kind of attitude towards her. Therefore, it is necessary for a husband to regularly communicate that he is always available and desires to fulfill her needs; this contributes to a stronger atmosphere of security, thereby making a wife more committed to her marriage.
3 A wife wants her husband to communicate his admiration for her:
Generally, a woman doesn’t often get admiration about how much her man loves her or how pretty she is. In truth, showing admiration is good medicine for most of the married women, who get so little of it. A woman can fully blossom under an atmosphere of adoration and praise; on the contrary, she tends to wilt in the presence of perpetual criticism or silence.
Although sometimes a husband has to speak some words of displeasure or correction to his wife, those words should come from a friendly and supportive source that the woman knows well. When a husband praises his woman and assures her of his love, he has also earned the right to correct her; however, if all he does is point out his wife’s flaws and bad points, she will inevitably feel bitter and insecure.
A wife’s daily behavior can clearly reflect her husband’s admiration for her:
When a wife constantly stays in an atmosphere that is filled with respect and praise for her, she is willing to radiate and reflect her love from every area of her married life. However, if a man criticizes his woman or offers her empty, shallow compliments constantly, eventually she will reflect her insecurity in daily life. It is human nature that a person gravitates to people and places where he/she can receive compliments about himself/herself. If a married woman has to seek praise from another man outside her marital relationship, it should be viewed as an indictment on her husband, and what is going to come next is probably more serious. Be aware of what tempts a wife to have an affair – the main reason is not to have happier sex, but a desire to find a man who can talk to her and make her feel special and good.
Compliments matter for a wife, although she would not like to admit it:
There is an undeniable fact that numerous women are turned on eventually after a man keeps paying her compliments to make her feel good about herself. Therefore, for a husband, the best insurance that his wife will not consider having an affair is to create and maintain an atmosphere of encouragement and praise that she enjoys. If a husband does so, his wife will be drawn closer to him; and even if someone else spares no efforts to offer her compliments and affection someday, in all likelihood she will remain unmoved because she will not be lack of love. By contrast, in a marriage where there is a lack of compliments to a wife, even if she resists an urge to participate in an affair, the hunger for love will also cause her to struggle with those fantasies and temptations that are potentially dangerous to their marriages.
So, don’t overlook the importance of compliments to your wife, feeling admired is one of a wife’s important emotional needs that are deeply hidden.
4 A wife wants her husband to communicate his faithfulness:
It is understandable for a teenage guy to whistle at beautiful girls walking down the street. But it is definitely inexcusable for a married man. Even if a man just looks on a woman with lust and desire in his heart, such a small act can be easily noticed by her, and thereby she may become sort of bothered by his potential unfaithfulness.
A lot of married men never have sex with women outside their marital relationships. But despite that, probably they also carry a spirit of unfaithfulness. Once a man’s heart has been derailed, it is probable that his women can instinctively pick on this and hence feels insecure in the marriage. So, a husband should be strongly committed to remain faithful to her woman, whether she is present or absent. It is not excessive at all for a husband to use a variety of ways to regularly communicate to his wife that he loves her only.
To cultivate faithfulness to a woman, a couple of aspects below are important to note:
- Don’t compare:
A husband is likely to become unfaithful to his wife if he always compares his wife with other women. Doing so can be the kiss of death to a marital relationship. Whenever a husband compares his wife’s anatomy, intelligence, behavior with another woman’s – especially his mother’s, he has made a big mistake actually. Maybe, the only acceptable time to compare his wife with other women is when he is complimenting her.
- Porn can be counter-productive:
There are no men who do not want their women to be sexually responsive during sex. And a lot of men may consider using pornography to sexually arouse their women. But they may overlook a fact – in attempting to make their women sexually responsive, using pornographic materials is the very worst way. For instance, when a wife finds that her husband is watching a dirty movie, maybe she does not care about it, but it may also lead to all sorts of unnecessary speculations and suspicions – she may wonder whether her husband may also like to leer at other pretty women in real life, or she may doubt if he is still faithful to her because it seems that he just treat her as the heroine of the porn movie… then probably she will consider withdrawing from sex, or directly rejecting sex to compensate.
As described above, a husband should learn to demonstrate sexual purity, and put himself under sexual restraint or abstinence even when his woman is not around; if he can do so, his wife is more likely to be free and responsive during sex, because the more sexual purity he shows, the more emotional security she gains in the relationship.
- Don’t mention “divorce” casually:
A man should not attempt to manipulate, scare his woman or just draw his wife’s attention by threatening divorce. If possible, avoid the word. The more a husband talks about divorce, the more insecure his woman feels in the marriage.
The final word on a wife’s emotional needs:
When a husband works hard to meet his wife’s emotional needs, in return, most likely she will also try to meet her husband’s emotional needs. Hence, this contributes to the healthy development of a marital relationship.
On the contrary, if a husband does not fully satisfy a wife’s basic emotional needs like the ones that have been mentioned above, over time the marriage tends to run into difficulty.
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12 common signs of an insecure wife – Signs your wife is insecure.
How to gain your wife’s trust back – Regain your lost trust.
How to romance your wife again – Tips for romance with your wife.
How to get your wife to forgive you after cheating – Restore trust in you.
Why your wife hates you – What to do when she hates you.
How to have more realistic expectations in your marriage.
How to make your wife feel appreciated – Keep these in mind.