Now your wife becomes uninterested in talking with you about daily things, especially the serious relationship issues that you are facing. You have recognized that the two of you need to work together on mending the relationship urgently. However, that seems impossible to do when she is unwilling to open up to you; if you simply give up and just hope that one day she will voluntarily change her mind to talk to you, probably it will lead to a disaster – a problematic couple tends to drift far apart, as the serious relationship problems swallow them and the relationship deteriorates. Therefore as long as you are sure that you want to have a fulfilling and harmonious relationship, you should try to change the relationship status even if you are the only one who wants to.
What you need to know about your wife’s deafening silence:
There can be a lot of things that your wife wants you to know about but she just would not like to tell you. Maybe she is purposely not sharing those things, or she may intend to open up to you the next time you two have a deep and meaningful conversation… in short, she may act that way for various possible reasons. Anyway, you must be aware of one point – conflict is a part of a marriage, and married life in harmony can not be a life without any conflict, Therefore, conflict resolution is not always the most important or urgent thing for maintaining a long-term relationship; in many cases, some conflict issues are hard to be resolved for the time being; and what you just need to do is to work hard to improve the daily communication with your spouse.
Let’s talk about 5 common things that she wants you to know about her by yourself:
- When she feels overwhelmed, she expects you to take charge, instead of waiting for her signal/decision.
In a family, a wife has plenty on her plate; besides working, she may have to make dinner, clean the house, and take care of the kids … at home. From this point, many times she just wants you to take good care of yourself instead of being another person that she has to take much care of. That’s why a lot of wives feel pleased and relieved when their men offer to do housework. When she is working hard to complete something but she is feeling tired/exhausted, if you can appear and pick up the slack without waiting for her to ask, she will appreciate it sincerely because your aid provides her tremendous relief.
- When she feels that she can not be understood by other people, she desires to be heard by you.
It is challenging and a hard part of our being when we feel like no one understands us; likewise, there are times when a lot of people can not understand your wife; at that point, she desires to have someone with whom she can feel comfortable; she desires you to notice that she is struggling with feeling misunderstood; and she wants you to hear her voice voluntarily; so if you ask her how other people perceive you and how she thinks others perceive her, she feels comforted considerably. Of course, if you are sure you can offer some valuable tips to enlighten her on how to get more people to accept and understand her better, she will appreciate you more.
- When she has a difficult time turning off her mom reflex, she can hardly be attentive to you because she stays preoccupied with a variety of family affairs.
When your wife is preoccupied with family affairs, she can not be very attentive to you. You must understand this point. This does not mean that she does not love you or care about you. Understandably, you crave more alone time with her; but in this case, if you strongly ask her to refocus her time and energy on you, it will be challenging or boring for her; and you just need to wait; so don’t interpret it as a sign of her rejection.
- She will be sensitive to other beautiful/excellent women around you, because she may interpret those women as potential competition.
You might reflect upon how you usually comment about other women and compliment them, are you generous? And do you even lay on the praise with a trowel? In particular, you might think back to the time when you spoke highly of other women in front of your wife, did you realize that she became a little jealous or resentful? No woman would not desire that their men regard them as the best in their eyes. Especially if she does not receive enough positive affirmation from you in daily life, the action of praising someone else can easily make her assume that she does not meet your needs well. Put yourself in her shoes: When your marriage is hitting a rough patch, if your wife says to you that she has a good business relationship or friendship with other women, will you be inclined to think that she enjoys their company better than your company, will this make your heart painful?
- She desires to be cherished, and she wants you to know about her needs secretly.
Even if you are not inclined to emotionally express yourself, it is necessary to let her know that you still love and cherish her. Besides speaking it out directly, you might also express through written words, a thoughtful/romantic gift/getaway. But in whatever form, the key point is to make her feel your sincerity. Maybe as a man, you think it is unnecessary to go with many of those things; however, from the point of view of most women, they think that those things are quite special and meaningful.
When you cherish your wife and put her in an important and priority position, she enjoys the feeling of being appreciated and valued. By contrast, when she does not feel respected and cherished, she is apt to feel insecure and resentful in married life.
Your wife wants you to hear her concerns even though those things seem trivial to you. And you should offer to validate her feelings and help her deal with anxiety, rather than simply tell her that there is no need to worry. Anyway, let her feel that you are always there whenever she needs you; do not brush your wife off even though she just stresses about unnecessary issues or unfortunate events that are impossible to happen.
When she feels anxious, genuinely listening might not be enough; you might also try to take practical steps together with her to relieve/overcome the anxiety. The more you try to calm her down, the more she feels taken care of.
So, what is the best way to get on with a silent spouse?
There are 3 crucial facets that you need to deal with your wife’s silence:
- Support and attentiveness:
First of all, you need to remind her that you always care about her, and do your part in the relationship from a foundation of support and love; specifically, you might try to draw her out with your kindness, think about specific gestures that you can do to make her feel cared for, consider when she can typically feel emotionally safe to open up to you; try to build the warm and harmonious atmosphere…
If you complain about her silent treatment, she will only pull further away; what you can do is to help her feel safe enough to say what is on her mind. Generally, you had better lower your tone of voice while talking to her, talking to her loudly easily makes her feel like you become very upset/bored with her personally, instead of focusing on the current issue.
As we all know, when a person feels attacked, their instinct reaction is to shut down or fight back. So when you are in an intense argument with her, make sure to speak softly in a lower voice volume.
- Listen:
When your wife doesn’t want to talk to you, she may also be using her silence to signal something. You might try to guess the deep meaning behind what she has told to you; surely, don’t poke and prod to do recon. At this stage, pursuing her relentlessly is counter-productive – she will either remain silent or defend against you. An appropriate way is to let her know that you are ready to make yourself available to listen to whatever is on her mind as long as she is willing.
And if your wife is more of an introvert than an extrovert in daily life, at this stage, she is very inclined to close her mind and heart; you might take the initiative to guide her to go out of the world of her own; you need to learn to know better what she means behind her quiet but meaningful behavior; and she will appreciate you if you can do something that she secretly wants you to do on your own; and you need to speak in a simple, brief manner; after all, generally an introverted person doesn’t like a person who talks too much, in many cases, their nagging partner are also not unexceptional; anyway, never compel her to speak; it depends on her willingness. If she wants to be alone without needing any comfort, just give her peaceful and quiet time as much as she wants. If you are still concerned, just check in on her now and then. But make sure to do so in a manner that makes her feel safe. Let her realize that you are just curious and concerned about her and that you have no intention of accusing her or putting her down.
- Show your vulnerability:
As a husband, probably you believe that you need to act as a strong man in front of your wife. So you always protect your vulnerability. But you might as well show her your own vulnerability, communicate your emotions surrounding the current situation that is at hand, and admit that you feel disconnected and upset. And even you might directly say that you are afraid to lose her and that you want to do her a favor but you don’t know how to do it.
To build an emotionally safe environment for her, the first step is to share your innermost feelings. Surely, if you can’t make headway toward communicating with her on an emotional level, do not force her, and allow her to remain silent.
- Practice self-care:
If you can not take good care of yourself at this stage, your wife’s silent treatment will become more and more detrimental to your psychological well-being. It is necessary to learn to do something meaningful for yourself to overcome emotional burnout. To practice self-care, you might practice mindfulness in daily life, practice journaling for your mental health, get your mind off her by doing something interesting and enhancing communication with your good friends; in particular, you need to focus on how to make yourself more calm; the more calm you stay, the less emotional your response will be. This not only allows you to think and communicate more clearly but also demonstrates to your wife that her silent treatment will not work well for you.
Talk in a more structured way:
Now you may urgently need to improve communication in your broken relationship; to enhance communication with your emotionally distant wife, you might improve your communication patterns; in particular, you may need to abide by fair fighting rules and learn to structure your talk.
Despite some moments of sorrow, frustration, disappointment, and wanting to lash/yell at the woman who has been giving the silent treatment for so many days, you still need to approach those situations in a healthier way; here are some tips:
Make full use of “I statements”: by expressing how you feel about her without blaming her, you are more likely to put yourself in the driving seat. For example, upon the utterance of the word “You hurt me so much when you shut me out”, she is apt to be irritated; instead, to reduce her antagonism, you might say “I feel frustrated and hurt when I’m shut out”.
Name and acknowledge the situation: for example, when your wife gives the silent treatment, you might state, “I have felt that I have been shut out and that you do not want to respond to me; is it possible to talk about this problem? If you would like, when is the appropriate time for you?”
No need to take it personally:
As we all know, if something is not personal, we should not take it personally, and we should not bear the blame or responsibility for it. However, this often seems to become a challenging thing in the very moment when your wife gives you a silent treatment; probably, you make it about your possible faults/wrongdoings, and you end up feeling worse. At that point, you might calm down yourself and ask yourself, “Do I have something do to with the recent problems that bother her? Is her behavior against me…” As long as you keep a cool head, you will realize that a lot of things do not concern you.
- Set healthy boundaries:
When space and silence go too far in a relationship, setting healthy boundaries is important. This can clearly tell your wife which things she is doing are hurtful, what you do not want her to do, and what you can tolerate. Surely, if you realize you did something wrong, you should also offer up your apology voluntarily. But if you are sure that you did nothing wrong, there is no need to apologize.
If you feel that your wife is hurting you intentionally, the silent treatment can be viewed as emotionally manipulative and abusive; in this case, communication after silent treatment is quite sensitive ground that you have to touch, you should not only keep it simple but also state your boundaries to avoid emotional minefields.
Is the silent treatment a form of abuse?
Did you and your wife argue about some critical issues, but she suddenly got upset, stopped talking, and turned away? You have attempted to engage her in a conversation again and again, but your efforts were of no avail. Several days/weeks passed, but she still ignores you now, and even she may go about her days as if there was nothing wrong. Probably you know well that she needs time and space; but meanwhile, you also feel increasingly anxious, and you desire to feel validated, so you try to seek alliance from other people, and you have a stronger and stronger desire to pour out your bad emotions immediately and completely.
The silent treatment is an explicit refusal to communicate verbally; this controlling form of communication is quite negative – for the receiving end of such aberrant behavior, this will only breed their negative emotions; for example, they may feel lost, disappointed, anxious, resentful, regretful… If the act of giving you the silent treatment is always left unchecked, over time, the silent treatment is apt to develop into an insidious cycle of abuse – probably you will endure a variety of unpleasant symptoms (e.g. you will feel mentally exhausted, emotionally drained…) If you have the similar experience, it is reasonable to suspect that your wife is emotionally abusive.
Surely, to further identify whether her silent treatment is abusive, it is necessary to observe whether there are other warning signs:
- Do you realize that she is trying to control the conversation or situation by using silent treatment as a manipulation tactic or a passive-aggressive communication pattern?
- Does the silent treatment last a prolonged period of time?
- Do you feel that your self-esteem or self-worth is eroded?
- As the abuse perpetrator, does she deliberately blame you for causing various problems?
- She has been silent for an extended span of time, and you never know when it is going to end.
- She has stopped attempting to communicate her inner feelings to you. Even though she has to say something, she just uses a few short words to finish speaking.
- She still talks to other people as usual, but she just alienates you.
- Now you always feel as if you had to walk on eggshells around her so that you would not hurt her feelings.
- She often uses stonewalling tactics when you ask her to do something.
Stonewalling comes in two forms, and it is easy to misunderstand your wife if you do not carefully distinguish between them.
Unintentional stonewalling: your wife may stonewall as a defense mechanism. She may feel overwhelmed and out of control in the moment of intense conflict; in this case, she may stonewall in an attempt to protect herself or regain control. To better understand this point, you might recall the experience of your own – More or less, you have also ever stonewalled unintentionally when you are at your emotional limit;
Intentional stonewalling: stonewalling can be used as a tactic of obstruction to stagnate the forward progress of your effort. She knows well what she is doing, she just leverages this technique to make you feel insignificant and small.
Have you paid attention to your communication pattern?
When your wife doesn’t want to talk to you, there can be another reason: there have been some communication breakdowns. Put yourself in her shoes – would you like to talk to a wife who speaks in a boring manner? For example, we all have the experience – emotional dysregulation, attacking/judgemental language, roundabout speaking, hard irony and cynicism, an arrogant attitude, a loud and braying voice, and guilt-tripping techniques are enough to sabotage a conversation. When we think of someone, if we instantly associate them with those bad communication patterns, we will keep away from them consciously.
In a lot of cases, how to say things is as important as what to say; the way you speak to her can directly influence whether she can feel respected and heard by you.
And let’s talk about common speaking manners that may make your wife tune you out:
- Too many words:
When you are nervous, encounter conflict, or experience a negative response, do you feel that there is much that you want to say, and do you take long to say? Have you realized that you were being long-winded than necessary during the past conversations? No doubt, this could be boring and frustrating for her. What is worse, your true meaning tends to get lost in your repetitious and long words. But from the point of your view, you probably think that a loving spouse should always be patient enough to listen to what the other one is saying.
- Monopolizing:
If your wife rarely gets a chance to fully express her opinion and feelings during conversations with you, over time she will zone out. When you are attempting to get her to listen to you, probably you are just trying to monopolize the conversation. This will be counter-productive. A productive conversation should allow both sides to contribute.
On the other hand, have you ever examined how you listen to her when she is talking about a serious topic; you must have ever expected her to listen to you in your desired way; likewise, she also wants you to listen to her attentively; so you might follow suit;
When your wife feels the need to talk, make sure to give her enough chances to fully express her thoughts and emotions, and listen carefully to what she is saying. This may encourage her to do the same for you.
- Ulterior motives:
When your wife realizes that there are some dark patterns of manipulation in what you have said to her, preemptively she may decide to tune you out, rather than engage in a conversation with you. So don’t be passive-aggressive or manipulative in your daily life; otherwise, your wife is inclined to think that you are attempting to take advantage of her. Even though you just behave a little like a manipulator and yet you don’t do this intentionally, make sure to be straightforward later.
Understandably, sometimes being honest and vulnerable with her can be scary, after all, it threatens the assumed reality on which a lot of things are based; but without doing it, you miss a good chance of keeping her engaged in the conversation. So simply ask for what you want from her, say what you mean, acknowledge your feelings… and meanwhile, make sure to give space for your wife’s thoughts, emotions, and desires as well.
- Generalizing:
As we all know, generalizations that we make can be accurate or inaccurate; and in love relationships, it is particularly easy for us to make various generalizations about what our partners are like; but more often than not, those generalizations are not true or really fair. Such a generation is also not helpful in maintaining communication; especially if there are a lot of negative and false generalizations in your statements, she will feel hurt/disappointed and get bored of you. For example, if your comments frequently use “constantly”, “always”, and “never”, you are apt to make wrong generalizations; probably you also do not realize such comments sound like condemnation; what is worse, your wife will feel that you just see her from a wrong angle, and it will either irritate her to fight back or cause her to tune out your voice. Even though you just speak honestly and the facts are on your side, you should also be aware that nobody likes to receive comments in which a sweeping litany of their mistakes/faults is included. The right way is to just focus on the specific problems you are facing and things that you and your spouse can change currently.
- Hurtful comments:
Did you have a bad history of making hurtful comments about your wife? Like words that are dismissive, insulting, intimidating, or disrespectful of her feelings, opinions, and beliefs? If so, your wife is unwilling to hear what you have to say; especially if she realizes that the conversation with you tends to escalate into tense arguments, probably she will feel defensive, protective, out of control, or angry during the conversation; so she will choose to tune you out.
She may also disengage from a conversation with you because she attempts to avoid saying hurtful or negative things to you. Surely, both of you should work toward maintaining a civil conversation – in a lot of problematic marriages, sometimes a couple keeps silent just because one or both of them don’t know how to speak their minds without being cruel.
So you might consider establishing simple ground rules that both of you can agree on in future conversations, such as not interrupting, taking turns speaking, not using hurtful/nasty words, not speaking loudly, and not being manipulative.
- Lecturing:
A speaking style that comes across as questioning, preaching, or lecturing can make your wife not listen. In this situation where you put yourself into the “boss” or “teacher” role, you may feel ignored or unheard, which may make you feel she is being childish.
Likewise, you are also reluctant to hear your wife if she just acts as the attorney or professor in your marriage; furthermore, being preachy may garner her resentment towards you. Therefore, make sure to explain your questions or concerns without asserting that you know much better than her; otherwise, your wife will not feel the need to express her opinion; no one likes to talk with a person who assumes that they know all the answers and that only their opinion is right;
Again, don’t just think that you are always the right, and don’t engage in a one-way monologue. On the other hand, you should also consciously remind yourself to encourage your wife to speak more. And to make your wife more receptive to giving an ear to your words, you should let her feel heard while she is saying what she has to say; so make sure to be open to everything she says, whether it is criticism or an unfavorable suggestion. Let her feel that you are on even footing with her.
Poor timing:
As we all know, it is hard to have a productive conversation when the timing is off and the place is wrong. In your married life, your wife may also not want to listen attentively to you when she is stressed out, preoccupied with other thoughts, tired and exhausted, in a rush, or engaged in something else. So don’t force your wife to talk to you at that point; if you want to talk with her, first, you might politely ask whether there is a good time for a conversation. If she says no, OK, respect her, and just tell her you can wait for the time when she is free.
Bringing up old emotional baggage:
If you have already talked at length about some issues or topics but you still bring up them again and again, it may cause her to tune out. Put yourself in her shoes – would you like to engage in a conversation where your wife keeps raising old issues?
Yes, there may be some lingering issues that have to be resolved, or there can be something that you can’t let go of or forgive; in such a case, you might have a talk, but it is better to put those issues to rest if you and your wife can hardly reach a solution. After you have hashed out the details, you should aim to let go of those things as they are.
In particular, remember one thing – picking at her old wounds will only put her on the defensive, contributing to shutting down instead of open communication.
Excessive negativity:
It is uncomfortable to stay with a person who adopts a pessimism and passive attitude toward life; has your wife ever complained that you often whine, complain, or speak negatively? Maybe you think it is your way of deflecting your attention to your own negativity when facing some issues; however, you may ignore that negative energy is also contagious; for mentally healthy people, it is normal to back away from people with negative energy; therefore, make sure to focus on dispelling your negative energy in your daily life and cultivating positive emotions.
To do this, there are a lot of aspects that you need to pay attention to. For example, have you noticed the way and the tone that you address the serious issues that you bring up; even though you are absolutely right, probably there can be another way to discuss those issues in a more positive and less accusatory manner. Even though it is justified for you to mention something bad/unpleasant/disgusting/unsatisfactory, always focusing on the negativity can cause your wife to tune you out; instead, you should focus on solving problems and seeking solutions rather than dwelling on the current bad situation. Another example is that when you are tempted to accuse her of her sins/faults, you might use the “I” statement formula to take ownership of your feelings and gather your thoughts, the “I feel” and “I think” statements are more effective at drawing your wife’s attention than simply making accusing statements like “You did…”, “You never…”, and “You always”. In this way, you are more likely to move the conversation into a territory where you both feel harmonious and emotionally safe. For example, if you say in an angry voice, “You never listen to me! You are so selfish!”, your spouse will either violently fight back or silently walk away; but if you can swallow your anger and say in a measured and even tone of voice, ”I feel ignored when I speak to you but don’t receive your response ”; in general, when you are trying to repair a relationship in which anger and resentment has become a constant, inevitable, and disruptive part of the married life, it is better to turn your anger/resentment into sorrow and disappointment; this makes her more likely to validate your feelings.
Overreaction:
Another possible reason your wife is putting you on mute is whether you are often highly emotionally reactive during conversations. This may make her think that you always try to push her emotional buttons; and if she assumes that a conversation with you tends to escalate from a calm discussion to a heated argument, she will certainly dislike and try to avoid contact with you. Not listening becomes a way that she attempts to avoid reactive fights.
When you are struggling not to become reactive during a conversation, you might consciously slow down your speaking speed, think twice about things that you want to say, consider whether there are alternative meanings to what you have heard from her rather than jump to conclusions, and ask for pause and take a break once you realize that you get too emotional. To talk productively, you must be aware that the goal of the conversations should be to listen to, support, and learn about each other, rather than try to win over your wife simply.
Your wife’s personal issues:
In some cases, your emotionally distant wife could also ignore you for reasons that are not directly related to you. And no matter how hard you try to communicate with her, she may be just unwilling to listen; here are some common examples:
- She is not at all interested in the subject that you are talking about.
- You are trying to seduce her, but now she is afraid of intimacy, and she wants to keep her distance from you. Not listening is just a way that she wants to avoid embarrassed/difficult feelings.
- Your wife disagrees with you on some critical issues, and she knows very well that you two can not reach a solution for the time being; she feels that you are just trying to talk to her about those tough issues; now she does not want to hear your opinion, thoughts, and advice; in her mind, not responding may be better than directly saying no; or she may want you to perceive not listening as her dislike/refusal. She may feel intimidated or uncomfortable expressing her opposing view, tuning out seems to be a more acceptable option.
- Sometimes, she may be distracted, wiped out, or have a very limited attention span; this makes it hard for her to give her full attention to you.
- Your wife may have gotten used to racing ahead of what you want to say – she has thought of how to respond to things that you are concerned about, and she has focused on the action, instead of listening and expressing actively.
- Your wife may not care about what you say, and she may think that the problems are not serious and can go away on their own.
Are your wife an introverted woman?
It is necessary to try to decipher the reasons for your wife’s silence. Especially if she is the quiet type, you need to be aware that it is easier for her to place herself in silent mode while she is deep in thought, dealing with or reflecting upon significant events. A lot of introverted women still feel very happy when they sit next to their beloved without uttering a word. Generally, it is not hard to tell whether a person is being silent out of spite or anger. Your wife is also not unexceptional.
As we all know, being angry and negative should be perceived as passive aggression or avoidance. Prolonged silence should also be classified into this type. Especially if your wife is naturally introverted and shy, she will be more likely to retreat within herself and stop talking and listening to you; in this way, she can better regulate herself emotionally when there is intense conflict between you and her. Especially if she thinks some problems can not be resolved no matter how you and she discuss them, she may choose to be just quiet around you to keep the peace. Put yourself in her shoes – if you felt like any form of discussion could lead to a heated fight, how would you handle the relationship? Would you also consider remaining silent to keep the relationship peaceful?
Does she get defensive when you tell her how you feel?
When you attempt to communicate with her, do you feel like the harder you try, the harder she tries to avoid? Even sometimes, she may defend herself – she not only invalidates what you say but also simply refuses to express her opinion/thoughts/feelings.
Understandably, you want her to listen to you and respond to you. However, she clamps down just like a clam on the defensive, whenever you attempt to launch a conversation. You are sure you have tried hard; maybe you have raised your voice volume and voice intensity, and you have expressed your great passion towards her… but it seems to have no effect; no matter how you try to connect with her, she just works hard to block you.
Does your wife become more focused on herself?
Do you feel like she is trying to plot her life without your presence? For example, she may be planning her solo travel, she may have no desire to have sex with you, and she may start to make meals without considering your eating habits and taste; if you have a similar experience, you should be cautious that your wife has emotionally checked out the marriage. For a lot of women who keep thinking about their men, they still do things for their men silently even though something unpleasant happens to them or the relationship goes sour.
Do you assure your wife of your love?
Even though she does not want to talk to you right now, you still have a lot of contact with her in daily life; it is important to make her aware that your feelings towards her do not change; and assure her that you are always willing to work together to get through rough patches that she might be encountering. Let her realize that you are always a reliable partner that she can fall back on any time she wants.
Giving her a reminder of your commitment can serve as a relentless gentle push for her to make more efforts towards repairing the relationship.
Do you look inward?
Have you reflected upon how you have acted in your married life? This is an important move that you have to make before you make any assumptions about the significant changes in her attitude.
Maybe you fail to notice a stressful period that she is experiencing at work or in her private life; maybe her aloofness is just a way of expressing displeasure at something you did. Another possibility is that you two have already taken each other for granted; once both parties forget the constant effort required to maintain a long-term relationship, the partners will become cold and detached.
It is better to speak honestly:
You may have observed some significant changes in your wife; to work out what has happened and what has gone wrong, simply asking can be effective. Surely, you should ask in a relatively relaxed atmosphere where she feels comfortable expressing what is on her mind. Meanwhile, make sure to avoid accusations, and you should make clear reasons for asking the related questions;
Furthermore, before making a contribution to the discussion, you should maintain a level head, and give her enough time and space to air out her feelings.
What should you do if you feel that she doesn’t love you anymore?
Coming to realize that she no longer loves you is disheartening; understandably, this discovery is enough to make future life with her seem unlikely; it is not always the case, though. This can also leave a new opening for love to be discovered.
Does she cheat?
If you suspect or are sure that your emotionally distant wife had an affair with someone else, this can be a common sign that she doesn’t want to talk to you; no doubt, infidelity is one of the most destructive developments in any long-term relationship;
For more tips about how to deal with a cheating spouse, you might go on to read the posts below:
Move on:
You are sure you have tried your best. But if your wife’s feelings about you appear to remain the same, you have to be mentally prepared to move on.
Understandably, it is quite painful to accept the fact that she no longer loves you, there will come a time when you will move past the sad things that have ever happened to you.
The final word:
In a long-term relationship, it is quite common to have one partner shutting down during conflict; this can greatly increase the loneliness and frustration of the other. And as the communication style develops into a pattern over time, eventually the other will also give up on trying to repair the connection. The relationship problem will grow to a more serious extent. Without effective communication in your married life, it will be difficult to maintain the relationship because you can hardly coordinate with your spouse.
As a life partner, your wife is an essential part of your life. Understandably, certain changes in her behavior toward you can be upsetting and frustrating. When you feel that your wife does not want to talk to you, it is easy to be perceived as a suspicion that she might be emotionally checked out of the relationship; that can hurt your heart deeply; but that does not necessarily mean an end to the relationship; by enhancing communication and taking effective measures, it is possible to restore her feelings and save the relationship.
For more tips on how to get your withdrawn wife to open up, you might go on to read the page below:
Learn what to say to your wife – Make your wife obsess about you again…