For a husband, he often views his marriage as a big ego boost – it impels him to work hard to be the best version of himself. But when he is working on the relationship, he also needs some forms of compliments from his wife to acquire the sustainable motive force. For a number of women who are living in happy marriages, they know very well that a well-timed, spontaneous ego stroke promotes the stability and mutual happiness in their relationships.
So, in your marriage, have you ever made continuous effort to make your husband feel necessary? Does he feel valued and needed in the relationship? Do you consider yourself a self-sufficient woman? And do you balk at the thought of “needing” him to do something for you? In any long-term relationship, every man wants his woman to give recognition and status he deserves; so you should be aware that it is essential to learn to appreciate your husband’s masculine side and let him know about it; surely, that doesn’t mean you should act like a helpless toddler in the presence of him.
If you wonder how to make your husband feel like a man again in your marriage life, here’re some practical tips:
(1) Recognize his physical strength:
Probably, your husband does not have an athletic physique, but even an average man is also stronger than an average woman. When he is around you, you may take the initiative to ask for his help to perform some heavy physical work (e.g. moving the sofa, repairing your bike/car, and carrying luggage), even though sometimes you are sure that you are capable of doing it well alone. After he does the job for you, don’t forget to give your recognition and appreciation to him, let him clearly know that you need a strong man like him by your side, and give thanks to him.
As times goes on, you may have not said “thank you” as often as in the early stage of your relationship, or even you may not want to say that at all now; but you are supposed to regularly say a “thank you” to him after he does things for you, especially something significant. Why? These two simple words hold power that you may look down upon. Surely, a simple “thank you” can’t transform a struggling marriage into a romantic or happy marriage magically, but it affirms your husband’s efforts, and it conveys other unspoken positive meanings; specifically, it means that you have noticed what he is doing for you, that you appreciate him, and that you need him. “Thank you” acknowledges his presence and contribution in your life; hence, to some degree, it meets your husband’s need to be appreciated and noticed.
(2) Teach your children to admire their father:
Convey to your children their daddy’s good personality traits that you appreciate, and ask them to follow the example set by their father. In particular, you may compliment what he does for the family in the presence of your children, and let your children understand how their daddy makes you feel reassured and safe. Actually, whether or not your husband hears what you are saying to your children at that moment, probably your children will convey your comments to him, and hence he may feel more masculine in front of family members because you sincerely appreciate the regard you have for him.
(3) Give him free reign in the bedroom:
While having sex with him, try to give your husband more control in bed, instead of dominating and disciplining him in bed. For example, allow him to flip you up and down, whatever he wants to do to you (surely, within predetermined parameters). Be more open with him during sex; in addition to moaning, you may talk dirty to him, groan, and scream; the more you enjoy sex with him, the more he feels masculine at your bad-girl moment. If you want him to become a stallion, first you may act like a mare. By the way, the male ego is fragile; so be careful that your aggressive or bold moves in bed may easily hurt your man’s manhood.
(4) Allow him to act as a gentleman:
Nowadays, too many women spare no efforts to pursue independence and equality in their marriages, and it is widely known as feminism, one negative effect of such an attitude is to block their husbands from doing gentlemanly or kind acts and some favor for them. Though numerous wives care about their men’s common courtesy towards them less and less, their men still want them to give opportunities to show their courtesy from time to time – At some point, almost every man has the willingness to be a gentleman toward his beloved, and he always expects that he can do something for his woman even though it is a petty thing.
However, many married women do not enable their men to show courtesy to them at a proper time. To a great extent, a man’s act of courtesy is more about a show of love and respect for his woman, so no need to refuse or avoid his acts of courtesy, allowing him to do so means the woman interprets her man’s kindness. The more a woman validates a man’s such feelings and inspires his gentlemanliness, the more he can feel like a man in the relationship.
So, allow him to open doors for you, help you with your coat, open an umbrella for you… Appreciate those small gestures of your husband, rather than say to him in a steely tone. ”I’ll help myself”
(5) Give your honor to him:
Make your husband feel important to you as well as the family. When you are working hard to deal with troublesome issues whether they are about life or work, you do not have to act like a big, tough guy, and you might consult him on solutions.
Furthermore, whether or not you agree with a way he handles a certain issue, make sure to respect him, and keep in mind not to make fun of him anytime. For example, after he has spent every ounce of his energy repairing a leaky pipe but eventually it still doesn’t work, you should not make bitter, scathing remarks about him like “Why don’t you send for a plumber to repair it from the very beginning? You always like to overstretch yourself!” Instead, you should still give thanks to him and appreciate his efforts to try to repair it. Probably he solved a part of the problem during the process, so you should still recognize with gratitude.
After all, any person’s capabilities are limited; your man is also not exceptional, maybe he is an expert in one field, but meanwhile, he is just a layman in another field; don’t think a real man should be able to accomplish anything for you, and instead a real man should be the man who is willing to try his best to do anything for you whatever the outcome.
In short, when you have no idea how to make your husband feel like a man again, a good rule of thumb is to focus on your husband’s strengths and let him feel personal-worth again by pointing out his strengths.
(6) Listen to him:
When he wants to talk to you about something on his mind, you are supposed to pay full attention to him. For example, when he walks up to you and starts to speak to you, you had better turn off TV, put your phone down to listen to him; during conversations with him, look into his eyes, raise related questions about what he is talking, and smile to show interest in what he is saying. It is important to be an attentive listener with a man, usually, a man speaks fewer words than a woman when it comes to talking; but a man always wants his woman to closely listen to him when he is talking to her.
(7) Seek his advice actively:
When it comes to asking for advice from someone else, many married women get accustomed to assuming their best friends are experts and their significant others are idiots. Maybe, in your daily life, you also prefer to listen to your best friends’ opinions and adopt their suggestions (For example, when you wonder how to buy a dress, how to get along with a boring person, or how to program the occupation career, probably the first person you think of is one of your best friends instead of your husband; and even though your man chimes in on the same matter, maybe you think little of his suggestions or even wave him off.
If you feel the same way about the relationship problem above, you need to change the way you treat your man. Actually, if you can make him feel free to give you suggestions, and meanwhile you can chew on his suggestions like your best friends’, you will not only make your husband feel more appreciated but also acquire a new, valuable perspective of a lot of difficult issues. If you feel the need to encourage him to give you more advice rather than constantly resist listening to him, pay attention to the two points: firstly, acknowledge his wisdom, give thanks for his opinion; secondly, you do not have to immediately ask for life-altering advice (e.g. kicking someone out of your life, and changing your job) from him, you may try to listen to his advice about minor issues in your life and work, such as how to deal with a tough coworker, and how to improve dietary habits.
The final word:
Acknowledging your husband’s good traits is a good way to increase your love and respect for him. When he feels loved and appreciated, he will also want to reciprocate that feeling, so he will treat you more like a lady. And that contributes to the benign development of your marriage.
If you want to learn more about how to make your husband feel like a man again, you might go on to read the page below. It will help you tap into your man’s ego and trigger his hero instinct:
Maybe, you are also interested in the related posts below:
5 tips on how to make your husband feel loved and respected.
How to trigger your husband’s hero instinct – His secret desire.
How to keep him obsessed with you – Your man’s secret obsession.
How to deal with your man’s ego – The male ego in marriage.
How to make your husband feel appreciated – Show him appreciation.
The 5 most important emotional needs of a man – Meet his needs.
10 tips on how to boost your husband’s ego – Stroke his ego.