As your marriage evolves, sex tends to lose its novelty. And it is quite easy to lose the passion you once had for each other in your bedroom. Anyway, if you realize that you have been stuck in a sexual rut with your husband, you may need to leave your comfort zone behind to improve your sex life, although such a situation is pretty common among middle-aged married couples. And there are many things you can do to bring the spark back into the bedroom.
Here are 5 simple tips on how to spice up the bedroom for him:
1 Break the seemingly scripted routine:
In your married life, there may be one thing contributing to your boring and dull sex life: there is no build-up of anticipation, excitement, and lust before having sex with your husband.
Maybe sex has become just a routine for you and your spouse; for example, you may have got accustomed to having sex every Saturday morning/evening. If so, you may try to break out of this monotony and try to build anticipation for something that he does not expect from you usually. For example, if you usually don’t text your husband during the 2 to 3 pm time frame when you are working, then you may pick a workday and text him during that time and show him how horny you are and how much you miss him. And let him know what you plan to do to him or what you want him to do to you when he returns home, in detail…
Caveat: just use this trick sparingly; otherwise, it may cause your husband to feel bored with you.
2 Dress up for him:
When it comes to how to spice up the bedroom for him, sexy dresses should be a simple and effective way.
Generally, a man likes a coy woman in bed; however, he would not like to appreciate a reserved woman who gives off an uncomfortable and awkward atmosphere. Based on this, you might learn how to dress for sex and look sexy in your bedroom. And there must be some suitable attire that you can wear to bed. If you have no idea, here are some simple suggestions on dressing:
- See-through shirts:
First, you need to understand that dressing seductively is never about showing all your body parts, but about making your man feel like he can see all the sexy parts of your body by showing him some parts or even covering all the parts. Therefore, the next time you dress for bed, you may consider wearing a dress that can reveal your sexy parts without leaving all of them exposed. For example, a white see-through shirt or a thin tee shirt can be such a good turn on for your husband. By the way, to turn him on a bit more, you may also wear that kind of underwear that enhances your beautiful curve and makes your nipples stick out more.
- Soft fabrics:
Generally, a man likes the feeling of softness that a woman’s skin gives him. Maybe, you still remember how much he enjoyed touching the skin on your legs or your back the first time… No doubt, a supple and soft feeling of your body can be an instant turn on for your husband. But it is better to somehow remind him of your skin’s texture first than directly letting his hands reach under your shirt. So, you may sleep in soft fabrics (e.g. silk, and satin). In doing so, the more he touches you, the more he wants (especially when he is running his hands over your curve).
- Role-playing costumes:
If you can introduce a role-playing fantasy into your dress, he is more likely to give you a wild night of orgasms and passion. So take some time to figure out whether he is into a certain kind of role-playing, or whether he likes a female character in a movie or TV series. If he does, try to seduce him through a role play. Maybe, for him, there is nothing seductive than acting out a secret fantasy. So, try to be open, dress up like your man’s favorite female character, and call out his name…
3 Swap roles:
This can be thought of as an extension of acting out your sexual fantasies, and it often makes good effects in spicing up sex life. This point is more about a dramatic change of control over each other. In the majority of marital relationships, one spouse is more dominant in bed, and the other gets used to being submissive during sex. Probably, you and your spouse have both also accepted a kind of role that seems permanent and unchangeable; yet once your roles in your bedroom are changed greatly, probably you will both be sexually aroused.
As explained above, you may try to switch your roles. If you have always been sexually submissive in your bedroom, try to take charge. Instead, if you are the dominant one, you may encourage or allow your spouse to take the lead, and then follow him and his ideas. In particular, whether you or your spouse is sexually submissive in bed, you might as well initiate sex, start with and hold on to foreplay, and initiate a change of sex positions.
4 Explore fantasies together:
Every woman and man has sexual fantasies. And the problem for many couples is that they are afraid that their fantasies will be regarded as weird or “out there” by their spouses. Therefore, they choose to hide their sexual fantasies from their partners, because of fear of embarrassment. And as regards sexual fantasies, in a relationship, probably both sides would not like to share.
No doubt, there must be certain sexual fantasies that can turn your spouse on, but sadly you may never make full use of them in your sex life. Actually it can be very easy and fun for a couple to explore each other’s sexual fantasies together.
If you wonder how to share your sexual fantasies without feeling embarrassed or judged, you may keep the 4 points below in mind:
(1) Get started with fairly tame fantasies. If you both feel comfortable with them, then slowly build up to wilder ones.
(2) Don’t be judgemental with your husband about his sexual fantasies. Just be open to his ideas, even though you have no interest in trying them out.
(3) If your man is not willing to open up about his sexual fantasies, no need to force him, otherwise that will only make him close up further.
(4) Take advantage of positive reinforcement – reward your husband for his opening up. In doing so, there is a bigger chance that he will open up later. Rewarding him is so simple; you do not have to complicate such a simple act; for example, it can be as easy as affirming your man’s point (e.g. you may say “Great, it sounds interesting!”).
5 Talk dirty:
Among all the skills about how to spice up the bedroom for him, talking dirty should be the most powerful one because it can be used to keep him turned on constantly. And there are a variety of dirty words that you can say to him. And you do not have to feel shame about talking dirty; in fact, dirty words are not so “dirty” that you can’t accept them. And if you think that you are sort of tongue-tied with him when talking dirty to him, the basic tips below may be of some help to you:
(1) Keep it simple: tell him how excited you are. Most dirty talk is best kept succinct and simple.
(2) Whisper: if you often feel nervous when saying dirty words loudly, it is not bad to whisper to him. Many times, dirty talk can become even hotter when you speak in a low voice.
(3) Ask: if you are a bit timid in the beginning, you might set the ball rolling – take the initiative to ask your man to tell you a dirty story, and then hand the next task over to him.
(4) Play on his sexual fantasies: does he have a thing for a certain sex goddess? If he does, you may say with a straight face you have been practicing imitating the sex goddess, and that you want to show him how you copy her in every way. And whatever your man’s fantasy is, try to invoke it with your short but descriptive words.
Furthermore, if you are not sure what to say when talking dirty to your husband, you might borrow the lines below:
- What to say before sex:
“You get me so hot.”
“I need you now.”
“Just wait till I get home…”
“I want to be inside you / I want to have you inside me.”
“I can’t wait to spend some time alone with you.”
“I’m hot right now.”
- What to say during sex:
“I am so close to you.”
“Don’t stop.”
“Faster/harder/deeper.”
“I love your body.”
“You taste so good.”
“I love how wet/hard you are.”
“Spank me.”
- What to say after sex:
“That was amazing!”
“I still feel/smell you inside me.”
If you want to learn more about how to seduce your husband with words, you might go on to read the post below:
How to seduce your husband with words – Sexually arouse him.
In short, every wife can try to bring dirty talk into the bedroom with her husband. And dirty talk should be regarded as an art of seduction, but the pity is that most women have never mastered this technique well. To discover how erotic dirty talk can be, you might go on to read the page below that provides comprehensive guidance on how to make him want you:
The final word:
In a relationship, sex life is initially fantastic but its spice can diminish over time. For almost all the couples, there are always times when their sex life hits a slump – sometimes sex gets monotonous or even boring. However, don’t take a flavorless sex life for granted. In such a case, you need to come up with a spice-up strategy to breathe new passion into your relationship: both sexually and emotionally.
For more tips on how to spice up the bedroom for him, you might go on to read the page below that aims to help women keep their lovemaking red, hot, and steamy:
Maybe, you are also interested in the posts below:
What a husband expects from his wife in marriage – A man’s needs.
6 tips on how to get your husband to be more affectionate.
What to do when your husband rejects you sexually – what does it mean?
What causes a sexless marriage – Why does a marriage become sexless?