Aside from feeling loved and appreciated, another thing that your woman eagerly wants from you should be feelings of security. No doubt, every woman hopes that they can always live in a happy and peaceful married life with a strong sense of trust and security that keeps her marriage alive and stable. If your woman constantly feels insecure in the marriage, it can bring about a series of devastating impacts on the relationship, such as her paranoia, doubts, jealousy, and feelings of unworthiness.
Although it is almost impossible that a person’s marriage life is always uneventful, you should try your best to make your woman feel secure in the relationship.
And here are some practical tips on how to make your woman feel secure:
1 Don’t take your wife for granted:
Over time, you may have already got accustomed to taking her for granted, especially in the presence of others. Doing that will not only break her heart but also make her misunderstand that you would rather be concerned about other people, other issues than her. For instance, have you ever brought your wife to attend a bud friend’s party, on that occasion, you ignored her existence imperceptibly, you danced and drank to your heart’s content, although she actually sat or stood beside you, you took for granted that she was also familiar with that strange environment; but at that time, probably, she was alone and the unfamiliar and noisy place made her feel out of place; if you put yourself in her position at that time, you could realize she was unfamiliar with many people at that party, and that she was feeling silly and awkward; and afterward, maybe you would feel guilty for your neglect of her.
2 Avoid letting her find a reason for distrusting you:
In daily life, it is indeed hard to resist some temptations outside the relationship; but as a dedicated husband who wants to keep the marriage going, you should timely remind yourself that you bear the responsibility to steer away from possible things that can hurt your wife.
Some common things, like keeping secrets, lying, cheating, and having an affair, can easily cause your wife to distrust you.
Yes, she may choose to forgive your past wrongdoings; but to make her trust you again, you have to put in a lot of time and hard work; after all, your wrongdoings remind her to be skeptical of him from time to time, even though you are really straight with her now.
3 Accept her imperfections and forgive her shortcomings/wrongdoings:
If you often bring up her unintentional but serious mistakes of the past, she can hardly feel secure in the relationship; if you were she, you would also feel anxious and depressed when your spouse constantly resented over something you did wrong, worrying about whether it would cause the further deterioration; likewise, if your spouse always picked the flaws of your character, you could hardly feel secure in the relationship.
So in order to prevent her from believing that her imperfection is always something that can wreck your marriage, let her clearly know that you married her because you know her very well and have already fully accepted all her pros and cons;
4 Give compliments to her generously:
A woman always hopes his man can keep the love for her because of her irreplaceable and special part in his heart. Therefore, let your wife feel that she is still special and still has her own charm in your eyes. As long as you find the right moments and give her the right compliments, not only will she not think that you just play sycophant and brown-nose, but she will view these compliments as words of encouragement for boosting her self-confidence. For example, one day when you are noticing she wears her favorite outfit in front of you, you might timely bring on your compliments like “you are pretty”; in her heart, she secretly wants to get your admiration or approval about her dressing style at the moment.
5 Keep focusing on your future goals when you are maintaining your marriage:
In your marriage, she may also lose a sense of security without the clear thought that you can have a bright future life. So ask yourself whether you have a tangible plan for your personal development. As a partner of this long term relationship, are you sure that you are doing well on your own part to create a secure future (both financially and emotionally) for what is lying ahead of you?
However, how many years can be considered long term? A proposal is to give your wife the assurance that you can both still live together, comfortably, and happily within the next 5~10 years.
6 Let her feel that she can rely on your support:
You should let your wife feel that she can lean on you anytime when she has trouble. That means you should not only be her lover but also be her intimate friend. Make sure you are always there for her even though she is going through the toughest time; the more difficulties she is facing, the more she needs you to offer her emotional security and relieving assurance that you will be dedicated to confronting and resolving problems.
7 Enhance communication between you two:
For many women who feel insecure within their marriages, they often have a complaint like “He just doesn’t want to listen to me”. In their relationships, they tend to feel unheard by their men, and these relationships are characterized by a lack of good communication.
Ask yourself whether the failure to communicate should be to blame for your wife’s insecurity. First, you should recognize whether you are good at communication in your married life. Actually, a lot of couples who see themselves as capable communicators don’t communicate well in their marriages. Inevitably, all the married couples encounter some barriers during the process of their mutual communication; to enhance communication between you and your wife, you should start with a clear recognition and solution of those barriers in communication. Furthermore, during the conversations, make sure to be an attentive listener and open up to her. And when it comes to how to make your woman feel secure, it is imperative to make your woman feel safe to communicate her emotional needs.
For more tips about how to have good communication in marriage, you might go on to read the posts below:
4 annoying habits that cause communication barriers in marriage.
How to have effective communication in marriage.
8 Honestly answer her questions:
In a long term relationship, a woman may ask her man a lot of seemingly inexplicable questions, sometimes you may feel a little bored about such her action; don’t think she does so just out of her curiosity; in this way, she also tries to confirm whether you remain loyal to her. Therefore, no matter how small one issue seems, she may deliberately bring up it to test your honesty. Hence, you should insist on complete honesty with her when she asks you those probing questions.
9 Move on from the past and live in the present:
Whether it is about the past love story, the past heartbreaks, or anything else that makes your woman feel that you do not live in and enjoy the present, you should let it go.
Move on from those tangential relationship issues and focus on the present and future: now you have someone who genuinely and deeply loves you, it is worth cherishing this special woman; let go of the past, enjoy the present, and embrace the future.
10 Show her your care regularly while you are working hard:
As a man, you ought to work hard to provide for your family. Yes, you should have career ambition, but it does not mean that you can’t take care of both your family and career. And you will lose more than you gain if you place your career above the consideration of your family. While you are working hard, you should also give your wife and children regular attention and care; many times, it is enough to express your concern for your family through several minutes of call or even a piece of a short text message. This regular activity is often very simple, but it does matter to your woman. The more care you show her, the more secure she will feel about the relationship.
11 Let him feel you are a man of your word:
This suggestion is simple – Just be a man of your word, and never make a promise that you can’t keep; do exactly as you say, and show up on time as long as you promise that you will show up. In married life, spouses often consciously or unconsciously check whether each other’s actions and words contrast with one another; if your actions lack inconsistency (you say one thing but do another), probably you will be viewed as insincere, and the gap between your words and deeds will become a shame for you. What’s more, it can cause her to think that you are not serious about the relationship; so, she has a reason to feel insecure in the relationship.
The final word:
A happy marriage must be built on a solid foundation of the sense of security; to some extent, it means one spouse should always think for the other one and puts the other first in daily life, and it acts as a safety buffer that allows both spouses to be vulnerable, real and honest without fear that the relationship will break up.
As to how to make your woman feel secure in your marriage, there is a wide range of things that you have to pay attention to. But ultimately, you should adhere to one general principle: make your woman feel that you are sincerely committed and faithful to the promise that you made at your wedding ceremony.
Furthermore, long-term insecurity can strain your marriage, causing the relationship to fail; so if this serious problem is sensed, you should take steps to resolve it as soon as possible to keep your marriage alive. For more tips on how to have a long-lasting happy marriage, you might go on to watch the video below to follow the comprehensive guidance that is offered by Brad Browning, a well-known marriage coach who has 12+ years of experience helping couples survive and thrive in unhappy marriages:
Maybe, you are also interested in the posts below:
12 common signs of an insecure wife – Signs your wife is insecure.
How to romance your wife again – tips for romance with your wife.
What a wife needs in a marriage – Basic needs of a woman.
Pay attention to these signs of an emotionally distant wife.
How to rekindle sexual intimacy when your wife becomes a roommate.
How to gain your wife’s trust back – Regain your lost trust.
How to have a long lasting happy marriage – Marriage-saving tips.