As a marriage mature, a lot of couples tend to dispense with passionate things that they used to do during the dating phase or the early years of marriage; then their relationships become stable but pretty routine and boring.
Routine and comfort can sap the fun and sexual excitement from your marriage, and that is a major reason why you do not have to stop flirting after marriage. Flirting with your wife is a smart way to infuse your relationship with spontaneity and fun – as a natural expression of your libido, playfulness, and lust for marital life, it reminds you two to be alive to sensuality in your married life; it keeps your wife from taking you for granted; and it makes you feel attractive when it is reciprocated.
Furthermore, females secretly enjoy flirting because it makes her feel wanted and appreciated and it boosts her self-confidence. And the same applies to your wife. So again, don’t think that you should stop flirting with her after marriage.
The following points out 6 tips on how to flirt with your wife:
(1) Compliment your wife:
The reason for doing so is to drive her insecurities away. After years of marriage, she is very likely to feel insecure about some feminine aspects of herself (e.g. her love handles, her flabby abdomen, and the old-fashioned way she dresses), no matter how confident she appears.
When you compliment her in a way that makes her feel good about her self-image, your compliments not only help increase her self-confidence but also go a long way toward bringing flirting back into your relationship.
And compliments greatly differ from ass-kissing; probably it will turn her stomach to hear you flatter her; but as long as you appropriately compliment her, most likely she will accept your compliments gracefully, and she will feel sexy and attractive all over again, just like when she was a young girl. The following are some examples of how to flirt with your wife by giving her image-building compliments:
- “In my eyes, you are as beautiful as before.”
- “I love how passionately you kiss me.”
- “You are my favorite woman to see every day.”
- “Being around you makes me happy.”
- “While you are putting your hair up that way, it reminds me of when I initially fell in love with you.”
(2) Be interested in her:
When you try to flirt with your wife to achieve something (e.g. connection, validation, and sex), you should understand that flirting with her is more about focusing on her instead of you; that means trying hard to be interested in her and focusing less on being interesting. And one easy way to start this is to adopt a posture of patiently listening – maintain eye contact, smile, lean in, and let her talk without interrupting…
By the way, the research found that a lot of wives actually hope that their men could listen to them more patiently. So you should manage to let her realize that you would love to listen to her; in order to encourage her to open her heart to you, let her feel that she can speak openly to you any time she wants, without worrying whether or not she will bore you, even you might as well allow her to rant about her day to make her feel better. These postures will make her feel cared for, and hence her mood is more likely to brighten up. Again, your wife doesn’t want you to dominate a conversation about what she has to say. In that situation, just focus on listening to her;
In short, if you keep your eyes on your wife literally, you will have more success in flirting with her. Especially when you both unwind at the end of a busy day, listening to her with interest is a relaxing and effective way.
(3) Sending flirty text messages:
Texting is a practical and feasible way to flirt with your wife because usually, your wife appreciates your flirty messages to make her day.
While you go about flirt texting, you may incorporate the tips below into your practice:
- Have fun – Choose relaxing topics and have a wonderful time sharing words that improve marital intimacy.
- Be yourself – There is no need to start sounding like a full-time seductor. Just keep your text messages simple in the beginning; and then as your wife gets comfortable with it, get more descriptive with your words bit by bit.
- Choose an appropriate time – It matters much for when to send your wife flirty text messages. After all, everyone may get busy with something at some point, and no one wants to be disturbed during busy times. So it is necessary to better understand her daily schedule and select the right time period.
When it comes to how to flirt with your wife, creating a playful mood for her is definitely a key point. And cute flirty text messages can work well in this aspect. The following are some flirty text messages that can make your wife smile:
- “Don’t tire yourself out. You need some energy for later.”
- “I love when we hug each other.”
- “I still taste you on my lips.”
- “Your smile is always my favorite.”
- “You are my happy place.”
- “What can I do for you tonight?”
(4) Increase physical touch:
If you have been married for many years, it may be very common that you two can go about one day without making any physical contact, especially when your life gets hectic. Maybe you have already overlooked the necessity of maintaining physical intimacy, or maybe you have nearly forgotten how to flirt with your wife with touch. To a certain extent, a lack of physical intimacy can contribute to a lack of emotional intimacy.
On this issue, let’s look at animal couples first. Animals generally court and mate without rich language. They stroke, nuzzle, lick to flirt with each other. But in contrast with human couples, we get so mixed up in flirting ways that we easily forget or neglect that physical touch is the most basic way.
More often than not, you may be too caught up in what exactly to say to flirt with your wife. But usually, you don’t have to fret over your words when you are using touch to flirt with her, because touch is all about feeling and instinct.
A flirting touch can be intimate and exciting, and yet it is casual and harmless; maybe, an accidental touch, like grazing her arm while you are reaching over her body to take something, may make her feel your attraction. Physical touch can convey an intention or meaning of an interaction that a speech can not do, even you can flirt by physical touch without saying a word. And here are some examples that you may use:
- Set an obvious precedent for physical touch and hug her as a greeting.
- Sit next to her with thighs/shoulders touching, instead of sitting across from her.
- Pat on her shoulder or her back to draw her attention.
- Take her elbow or hand to walk together.
(5) Communicate your sexual desire without contact:
Flirting is not just about physical sexuality. Sensuality and non-verbal flirtation are both important aspects that should not be ignored when it comes to how to flirt with your wife. So, you may try to bring in all five senses to enhance her sexual awareness; specifically, you may try to make your woman respond to your attractive scents, the feel of your skin, the tone of your voice, and so on.
With regard to non-verbal flirtation, facial expressions are worthwhile mentioning. A smile, a wink, or even a look that shows your desire may get her heart racing in the right direction. So, no need to feel shy about your facial expressions in the presence of your wife. Maybe, a glance you throw her may keep you on her mind for a long time. And probably she can feel desired when your voice sounds like you are telling her that you love her and are thinking of her.
(6) Remind her of your happy old days:
By reminding your wife of the happy old days, she can remember some things that made a difference in how she felt about you. Maybe, she can remember that she ever liked your flowers, or that she ever appreciated how you look in a blue jacket with a fresh shave… Those unforgettable, fun, and exciting memories can help trigger her emotional desire for you again.
Moreover, it is a good idea to extend a sense of teasing and playfulness by using questions, observations, as well as open-ended comments. So, you might start by asking your wife whether she remembers a fun or romantic time that you ever had.
The final word on flirting with your wife:
Many troubled couples have grown used to living together, without connecting in meaningful ways and acknowledging each other for a long time. In order to escape the rut of such a lifeless marriage, they should seek ways to get more emotionally and physically close to each other. And flirting does the job – it can not only amuse both sides but also reconfirms adoration and attraction for each other.
Therefore, flirting should remain a feature of a committed relationship. If you feel like your marriage is getting stuck in a rut and you badly want to spice up the sex life, you might go on to watch the presentation below to learn more about how to entice your wife back into the bedroom:
Maybe, you are also interested in the posts below:
How to rekindle sexual intimacy when your wife becomes a roommate.
How to romance your wife again – Tips for romance with your wife.
A wife’s emotional needs – what a wife wants from a husband.
What to do when your marriage lacks passion – Get the spark back.