In a marriage, both spouses have emotional needs that they desire to fulfill to feel balanced. And when it comes to the most important emotional needs of a spouse, men and women greatly differ from each other. By gaining an in-depth understanding of the emotional needs of a man, you can act as a better wife and thereby be better able to sustain the relationship.
The research found that women often ask themselves some questions like “Am I loveable?”, and “Am I special?” Generally, in love relationships, women desire to feel special and loved. On the other hand, men don’t like to ask themselves that kind of question. Instead, inside their hearts, they often worry whether they measure up and whether they are good at what they do for their women. In other words, men deeply desire to feel able, competent, appreciated, and noticed for what they do for their relationships…
As a wife, you should try to meet your husband’s emotional needs according to what he thinks is necessary for him to move the relationship forward.
The following highlights 5 most important emotional needs of a man:
1 Encouragement:
Men naturally have fragile egos. Behind the bravado a man displays in front of his woman, he may not have adequate confidence in a lot of aspects, such as financial situation, educational level, intelligence, sense of style, sense of humor, career accomplishments, place in life, personality, sexual performance, and appearance. Every man hopes to find a woman who can make him feel safe enough to share his inner insecurities with. Although a man would not like to expose his weakness because he thinks it is not macho, he also knows very well that he can not be strong all the time, and he also doesn’t want to pretend to be supreme all the time; so he desires to have a woman who can love, accept and encourage him even if he is in the midst of his feelings of insecurity.
Given the above, you should learn to better deal with your man’s insecurities. When he is feeling insecure about something (e.g. business pursuits, career path, and attractiveness), or when he tells you a problem that makes him insecure, make sure to be specific about your words of encouragement for him. It can’t be stressed enough: your encouragement needs to be genuine and consistent, and your encouragement never gets old; the more insecure he feels about something, the more affirmation he wants to receive from you.
2 Appreciation and admiration:
In a long term relationship, getting appreciation and admiration is one of a man’s emotional needs that his woman must be sensitive to. Usually, when a woman wholeheartedly shows admiration for what her man does for her, in his heart, he is glad to receive it without resistance.
To make your man feel admired, first you must figure out what he likes about himself. So you might ask yourself a series of questions first, such as “How does he see himself?”, “Which of his traits does he think means a lot to him?”, and “What does he think is his greatest strength?” By highlighting something that he highly values, he is inclined to feel understood and admired.
And you do not have to pretend that you appreciate something about him that you do not appreciate; but when he does something that impresses you deeply, let him feel how amazing he is; sometimes outwardly, your man may minimize your compliment or refuse to acknowledge your compliment, but even so, it does not hinder you from appreciating him in a short and concise manner; for example, you may look straight at him and say, “I’m telling you, you have done a good job…” in this case, your appreciation is still powerful because deep down he is happy to be recognized.
Remember, when you are appreciating him from the bottom of your heart, your man not only hears your appreciative words but also feels them. It is not hard to find words to express your appreciation and admiration towards him, and it just depends on whether you are willing to do it or not. On the other hand, your appreciation and admiration act as a deposit in his “love bank account”. But meanwhile, you should make a point to control your criticism towards him, the reason is simple: unnecessary criticism is just like a major withdraw of love from his “love bank account”, and the deposit can decrease at an alarming rate if you don’t pay close attention to avoid undue criticism.
For more tips, you might go on to read the post below:
How to make your husband feel appreciated – Show him appreciation.
3 A sense of sexual connection:
In general, sex is widely associated with the emotional needs of a man. Why? A lot of men feel unloved or cheated in a long term relationship because they feel their women don’t want to have sex with them often enough. In married life, generally, men connect better through sex, yet women connect better through communication. Surely, this is not to say that men need to have sex every day; to feel sexually connected, men not only connect through intercourse but also connect through various indicators of sexual access: a man may initiate sex just for the sake of seeing whether his woman is still sexually available to him. For example, some sexy gestures may be enough for him to have good enough senses of sexual connection, such as showing the willingness to kiss him deeply, embrace him, and romantically engage him.
In a long term relationship, women and men take a different attitude towards sexuality as well as feelings of connection – a woman may not feel comfortable and open sexually unless she feels emotionally connected to her man; by contrast, a man may feel reluctant to communicate openly with his woman unless he is sexually satisfied. And due to the constant lack of awareness of this difference between men and women, a relationship may fall into a downward spiral. Hence, to make your man feel connected, you might try to make a point to deepen your sexual connection with him.
Again, please note that men’s sexuality should be classified as a man’s emotional need, not a physical need. In a man’s mind, sexuality is not merely a physical need; he also largely experiences affection through sexuality.
For more tips on how to improve sexual intimacy with your man, you might go on to read the posts below:
How to turn on your husband again – Arouse your husband.
How to seduce your husband with words – Sexually arouse him.
4 Ego:
In married life, a consistently reinforced ego contributes to a man’s emotional well being. He needs to feel that his woman needs him. In the present society, women have become more self-sufficient and independent than before. And to make a marriage last long, it is also not wrong for a woman to establish and maintain a proper sense of independence, because no men like a woman who is too clingy and needy. However, from the perspective of a married man, he still secretly wants her woman to lean on him for help from time to time; after all, it is a man’s instinct to help his woman – a man needs to feel that his woman can see him as someone responsible and capable; even if he knows well he is not all-powerful, he still desires his woman to view him as her hero who is ready to help her out anytime.
When a man feels like a hero in his woman’s eyes, he swears his unswerving loyalty to her. He can’t help it. But sadly, the majority of women do not know how to make their men feel like a hero in their married life. On the contrary, a lot of men feel like a dumb guy when they are around their women. For more tips on how to boost your man’s ego, you might go on to read the post below:
10 tips on how to boost your husband’s ego – Stroke his ego.
5 Respect:
All marital relationships involve issues of respect. Among all the emotional needs of a man, the most important one is respect. In a long term marriage, women desire more love than respect, but men desire more respect than love. And a husband secretly wants his wife to perceive him as able, competent, and worthy of respect. A lot of women also acknowledge that their men need respect, but they just don’t know how to make their men feel respected. Husbands are worthy of respect in many ways, here are some typical aspects:
- Respect them as providers:
To give good support to their families, they need to work hard to earn money, most husbands feel tremendous pressure to pay the bills and play the role of the breadwinner of their families, but they know it is their responsibility to do so. Even sometimes they feel overwhelmed by the weighty family obligations, they still have to keep on working hard, especially when their income is not enough to provide for their families.
- Respect them as problem solvers:
Most husbands have an innate need to act as a problem-solver in front of their wives when their wives are encountering problems; in general, men also have stronger abilities to solve problems than women, especially those problems related with physical abilities (you see, men are usually glad to help their women do heavy physical work). And husbands tend to assume that their wives want advice and solutions from them when their wives run into problems, although sometimes what their wives want is just a little understanding and empathy.
- Respect them as fathers and husbands:
A woman’s nagging is annoying for her man. Even it can increase antagonism between husband and wife. Nagging him often implies that a woman thinks his man fails to live up to her expectations. And the more a woman reminds her man of his failures/limits/deficiencies/shortcomings, the more depressed he feels about the relationship. Many times when a wife is nagging her husband, she simply neglects to recognize a man’s efforts toward something that he does for her; but from the point of view of a husband, probably he feels like his woman does not respect or trust him.
To further understand why respect is so important for a man in a marriage, you might go on to read the post below:
What a man wants most from a woman – A man needs to feel respected.
The final word:
A man has a variety of emotional needs. The fulfillment of emotional needs is closely tied to the quality of a relationship; the long-term unmet emotional needs can become an unharmonious factor for relationship development. And some of a man’s emotional needs are deeply hidden in his heart, and yet he regards them as important, he may not know how to express those needs exactly, and he just hopes that his woman can meet those needs for him spontaneously.
When a woman constantly ignores the basic emotional needs of her man, he may feel like she takes him for granted or she treats him as a stranger. Some emotional needs are so important for a man; if those needs can not be met adequately in the relationship, gradually he will have negative thoughts and worries about the future. It is no wonder that a man living in an unhappy marriage considers distancing himself from his woman, cheating, or even ending the marriage.
To better meet your man’s emotional needs, it is not enough to have good intentions alone, and some skills and wisdom are required; after all, a man may be terrified of opening up to his woman about what he secretly wants in the relationship, but he wants his woman to figure it out on her own.
For more tips on how to understand what your husband is thinking and what he really wants in you, you might go on to read the page below; it may help you connect with your man on a deep emotional level and get him to be more devoted to you:
Learn what to say to your husband – Make him obsess about you again…
Maybe, you are also interested in the related posts below:
What should you do when your husband says he hates you?
Signs your husband is pulling away – Why he seems distant.
Why your husband is distant – How to stop him from being distant.
How to connect more with your husband – Make him feel connected.
How to trigger your husband’s hero instinct – His secret desire.
What every man secretly wants – How to make him devoted to you.