Every marriage is bound to have a lot of ups and downs, and there are always some aspects of the relationship that need to improve; whether your marriage is smoothly sailing or on the rocks now, you need to have a willingness to cultivate a long-lasting relationship with him.
If you have no idea how to strengthen your relationship with your husband, the 10 simple tips below may be helpful:
1 Support your husband’s perspective, even though when you disagree with it:
All married men want to have an important experience in the marriage life – what they see, hear and feel can be validated and supported by their significant halves. It is surely an absolute core of emotional and mental stability in a marriage. When you have disagreements, you two may have got accustomed to trying to impose your different personal beliefs upon each other. When you are divided on a certain issue, you may not realize how stubbornly you stick to your views, even though your action may have to erase his sense of reality; and probably he also acts and feels the same way.
Once you start to fully accept that many times two different points of view can be allowed to exist side by side, you will feel less need to deny his perspective that certainly differs from you. Instead, you will focus efforts on encompassing both of your opinions, that is to say, you will try to agree to disagree. In a happy marriage, a couple must learn to seek common ground and reserve each other’s differences on many martial issues.
2 Act with emergency responsiveness:
Ask yourself whether you are still fully committed to helping your husband or still put his requests or needs in the list that has the highest priority. Love can deepen significantly when your husband feels that, in times of trouble, he can trust that his woman will always be there for him, in her actions, heart, and mind.
As the complications of your marriage evolve, it is easy for you to take your husband for granted, so you may have been accustomed to letting other people’s things take precedence because you assume that his calls for help are either not so important or he always can manage to handle them eventually.
3 Try to be more forgiving:
No matter how committed your husband is to quality behavior, there are some times when he makes mistakes in your marriage life. Those moments are deeply vulnerable and fragile for him. It is often seen that a wife is tempted to criticize, scold, or shout at her man once he is caught making a mistake. But as his intimate partner, you should allow him a safe space in your heart so that he can better learn from his mistakes. Surely, no woman possesses the unlimited capability to tolerate her man’s actions that always hurt her; but in a harmonious marriage where a woman’s love pervades, her openness to why and how he “slips” should come first when it comes to dealing with her man’s faults/mistakes.
4 Respect his inner worlds:
After you two have been together for a long time, you affect each other in a wide range of aspects in life. The mutual responses can show up at an unexpected moment. Typically, certain simple things can invoke a certain section of your husband’s memories consciously or unconsciously. If one of your current interactions triggers a prior memory that is related to a traumatic experience or an unpleasant and unresolved problem, he may unexpectedly sense your resentment toward him and then he may react to you in a highly emotional manner, but actually you don’t have the intention to bring up old memories; and meanwhile, probably you also think his response is off-topic. This kind of interaction can result in bigger interpersonal conflict; obviously, this kind of conflict does not make sense and should have been avoided. At that moment he reacts furiously, if you timely understand that his reaction is caused by the prior memories and has little to do with the current situation, you are more likely to tolerate such his emotional behavior, and hence the potential conflict can be resolved more smoothly or avoided completely.
It is not easy for you to fully understand his inner world. Sometimes, his feelings, needs, and thoughts are driven by his multiple memories. And don’t assume that he can always experience the marriage life the same way as you do although you have been together for a long time.
5 Know what is sacred in your marriage:
You must know well that some specific words and actions can make him feel insecure, unappreciated, defensive, and self-doubt, and that some words and actions can make him feel safe in his vulnerable sates. It is not difficult for you to distinguish between these two types of words and actions, and try not to hurt him by avoiding touching those things that may hurt him. As long as you are sure you treasure him, you should remind yourself not to use his vulnerabilities irresponsibly no matter how bad you feel about him. Meanwhile, you should be aware of what can touch his heart, what can soothe his soul, and what can inspire his mind; it is significant to master this point for improving intimacy in your marriage.
6 Practice honesty even though when you feel ashamed:
If you often max out your credit card(s) and hide the bills every month, it may bite you sooner or later. Whether you are simply discussing the costs of vacations or the costs of a home loan, eventually those formerly-hidden money issues are apt to be brought to light by your credit report or the simple fact that you are unable to afford them. Although infidelity often happens in the bedroom, it can also happen with money. It is also quite tough to gain back your husband’s trust after financial infidelity.
In the same vein, when you feel you can’t be on the same page in the old way, you should particularly say something like “now, I…” A lot of married women do not know how to verbalize their displeasure in front of their husbands; if you let such communication issues fester for a long time, you and your husband will become vulnerable to strains in the relationship. When it comes to how to strengthen your relationship with your husband, being honest with him is of paramount importance.
7 Make room for his dreams:
It is still possible that you will forget to encourage your husband’s separate path to fulfillment even though you are devoted to each other.
In the early stage of marriage, to concentrate on mutual life goals, newly married couples push aside their personal goals willingly. It is understandable that they sincerely want their relationships to stay strong as a unit in spite of the sacrifice of personal dreams. But over time, those back-burner desires will re-emerge ultimately. As a wife who fully respects your man, you should also not bury his inner desires. That means you may have to reschedule your relationship priorities and reallocate the resources to help him pursue his dreams.
8 Take time to seek common interests:
If you and your husband get caught up in doing “your own thing”, you will miss a critical chance to connect with each other. Developing common interests or hobbies is a good way to decrease conflict in marriage and enhance the marriage concept that you are a team. No doubt, it helps promote the sense of connection, intimacy, and especially the friendship between wife and husband.
In order to have a happy marriage, it is far not enough to just have a solid grasp of your roles as a spouse; you will miss an important component of marriage if you fail to figure out the role of friendship in marriage. Ask yourself whether you treat your husband as an intimate friend whom you would like to spend time together with and with whom you can work together to engage in mutual activities. As long as you have the willingness to grow your friendship, you can try many things together, such as cooking, gardening, and a backpacking trip.
9 Maintain intimacy inside and outside your bedroom:
You must have found that something intimate can age along with the development of the marriage, but intimacy is not just about sex and passion in bed; gradually, you will realize that frequent sex is not as good as a daily moonlight walk that ends with a kiss to him. Intimacy can come in a lot of shapes, including cuddling, kissing, and a dirty conversation. There may be no more impressive display of passion than your zeal for him in a ward trying to seek a nurse’s attention for your ailing husband.
There are no fixed standards when it comes to the questions likes “what is a normal sex life”, and “how much sex is healthy in a marriage.” Remember those ambiguous issues vary from couple to couple; so, in this aspect, don’t dwell on the standards given by other people.
10 Shoulder the load:
Every marriage has access to big resources that can be used to support each spouse. For example, when a spouse is overloaded or incapable of carrying the share of his/her load, probably the other one will willingly step up to aid him without questioning his need first. A devoted spouse doesn’t keep score or be afraid that they may be exploited when he/she has to give away more to deal with a marital issue than their significant halves. A devoted spouse is willing to face unexpected marital challenges that will require more commitment and is ready to do that whenever necessary.
So, this kind of resource is also available for you, you can choose to allocate how much energy you want to put into something that is landing him in trouble.
The final word:
To steer your marriage towards happiness and stability, you not only need to work hard and consistently on your relationship but also should timely change your concepts to better adapt to all sorts of changes in your marriage.
If you want to learn more about how to strengthen your relationship with your husband and make him devoted to you, you might go on to watch the video below to follow the comprehensive guidance that is offered by Brad Browning, a marriage coach with 12+ years of experience:
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