how to trigger your husband's hero instinct

Although it is impossible to estimate how many men are still fascinated by Marvel comics or other superhero movies, the number is certainly big. A man longs to become a hero; surely he knows well that he can’t become the superhero who is responsible for saving the world, but he has a strong desire to be a real-life hero in the relationship with his woman.

Your husband’s hero instinct is never a simple emotional need:

Even though your husband is attracted to you now or even he still often says “I love you”, maybe he still feels that something is missing in the relationship. Feeling like your hero is an emotional need that is deeply hidden within his heart, and generally, he craves it more than any other emotional need.

Like the love and commitment instinct in your husband, if you fail to activate this hero instinct, inevitably his attention will also wander until he gets another woman to fill the gap.

Gain an in-depth understanding of your husband’s hero instinct:

It is an instinct in every man that commands and inspires him to see his woman as the one who he couldn’t live without. The hero instinct not only makes your husband remain monogamous with you but also makes him willing to run the extra mile to get more appreciation from you.

Every man is born with a hero instinct that leads to total love, commitment, and devotion when triggered. Your husband is no exception. By unlocking the hero instinct in your man, you make him feel that his heart belongs to you; and in response, he will be focused on how to ensure your heart is always for him. For this purpose, he is willing to work hard to be his personal best for you.

In your marriage, your husband must have a deep longing to be your hero too; and he secretly wants you to bring out the hero instinct in him.

Here are 4 tips on how to trigger your husband’s hero instinct:

1 Ask your husband for help:

In a marital relationship, a man tends to develop emotional attachment as he invests his energy, efforts, and physical labor into something that his woman needs help with. The more time and effort he puts in it, the more emotionally attached he will be. Specifically, something as small as asking your husband to lift a lid of a jar can be a beginning of making him continuously invest his energy into the relationship; every time you ask him to do that kind of small things for you, he does not think that those simple, repetitive tasks are wearisome, instead he enjoys the sense of your relying on him. In fact, as long as you can let him feel your sincerity while asking him to do something for you whether it is big or small, it helps promote his emotional attachment with you.

No doubt it is a man’s responsibility to help his woman in trouble, and he will not feel that you are too needy when he feels like a hero that is helping you solve various problems.

2 Appreciate your husband for what he does for you:

Did he offer to cook breakfast for you when you got sick? Did he offer to wash the clothes for you when you were busy with work? Did he recover your lost things when you have already given up finding them? …

Have you ever thanked him when he did things like the above for you?

Maybe you have not realized that your man secretly wants to be a hero to you in daily life. But can you remember that when you were stuck in a crisis, your husband came to your rescue in your time of need? Have you ever realized that as long as he found that something emergent happened to you, he would like to put aside anything that he was busy with and, then quickly came over? Maybe when you faced a difficult decision and needed a good sounding board, he was always there…

Like a lot of married women, you may have taken for granted everything he does for you. On the contrary, when you are aware of the fact that you are actually having a man to strongly rely on, it may numb you to some extent. Ask yourself whether you have ever neglected to show appreciation to him when he did something that you should have been grateful to him for. Don’t think that showing appreciation is an optional extra for your husband. Instead, usually, a married man is always thirst for his woman’s appreciation in everyday life. The more he feels appreciated, the more he feels likes a hero.

Moreover, I bet you also want to receive more appreciation from your man, and the best way to earn your man’s appreciation is to appreciate everything he does for you, no matter how little it is. However, like a big number of women, you may not think so. Maybe you think you should also earn your husband’s appreciation by doing things for him, but this easily backfires. Why? After all, you are a woman, and he just wants to be your hero, and he does not want you to become his hero.

When it comes to how to trigger your husband’s hero instinct, there is one thing you have to be aware of – for a woman, the primary way to trigger her man’s hero instinct is not to do things for him but to appreciate what he does for her, regardless of how little it is.

If you have no idea how to show appreciation to your husband, the tips below may be worth following:

Try your best to pay full attention and make full eye contact while he is speaking with you. This assures him that you appreciate what he has to tell you.
Appreciate his efforts that bring value to your relationship; and regularly talk about his efforts and contribution to the relationship, in order to let him clearly know that you lay it to your heart.
Let him know that you don’t take many daily things that he has been doing for granted. For example, you may say to your spouse, ”I appreciate you washing the dishes every night.” or, “You always keep it ready as I dress for work, nice of you.”
Your husband is always one of the most loyal companions who are willing to invest their time and energy in you. So you might appreciate him for going through your hard times with you.
Acknowledge his dedication to the family. When you recognize the important contribution of your husband to the family, you should acknowledge not only the outcome but also his efforts during the whole process. In order to increase the influence with this tip, you might also tie his efforts to how they positively impact the family. In doing so, your husband will feel more motivated to continue to make contributions to the family.
Compliment him on simple things; for example, when you see him wearing appropriate clothes, you may say a compliment to him, like “your dress makes you look radiant.”
Quote him to your friends. For example, the next time when you are engaging in small talk with your friends at a party, you may mention something nice of your husband, like “my man always helps me…” The moment he notices you speaking highly of him in front of other people, probably he feels like a popular guy in the world, and his male obsession will be light up.

3 Give him positive affirmation:

When you no longer verbally affirm your man, he will seek affirmation from someone else of the same sex. Generally, words of affirmation work well for a married man, even though those words do not belong to the love language that he can understand, he still benefits from encouragement. Even a few simple words of affirmation may set an inspiring tone for his whole day and thereby make him feel more like a hero. Thus, in your married life, you might help your husband to see himself as important to you and the family, you might give him praise for things he does well, and you might allow him to take credit to himself for work that he finished well.

As we all know, sometimes a hero needs inspiration from people who he is protecting. During your man’s “hero journey”, he also badly wants to receive motivation and inspiration from you. So don’t overlook the power of positive affirmation; to inspire him to be your hero all the time, make it a point to continuously give him clear, positive affirmation to encourage him. And here are some heartfelt words of affirmation that you can refer to:

“If I had the chance to do it over, I still would choose you to be my man.”
“Thanks for your help, I finished it. That means a lot to me!”
“I enjoy spending time with you.”
“I pray for you.”
“My life becomes better because of you.”
“I respect you.”
“I’m proud of you.”
“I value your opinion.”
“You are a man of wisdom/truth/integrity/peace.”
“I will be at your side.”
“You are a responsible man.”
“You are becoming better and better.”
“I’m blessed to have you as my husband.”

4 Let your husband earn respect and admiration from you:

A hero does not fear challenges; instead, he accepts all kinds of challenges. After he overcomes a challenge, he thinks he should get the respect and admiration that he deserves. On the other hand, he doesn’t want you to give him respect as a reward, just because of his showing up. Anytime, don’t treat your husband as a spoon-fed baby. For example, when he wants to finish a task alone, did you still horn in on it because you are afraid that he will mess it up? Surely, you did that out of your kindness. But during the process, you may not realize that you are taking something away from him actually, your doing so may steer him away from his purpose – he wants to act as the hero in the family, but it seems that you are competing for the role.

In a man’s view, respect and admiration is never a gift from someone, it is based on achievements that he has made. And your husband also just wants to earn respect and admiration from you through his own hard work.

In your marriage, there is one thing he craves even more than your eternal enduring love – earning respect and admiration. A husband always hopes that his wife can give him opportunities in their daily life to fully prove himself by overcoming various challenges. To trigger his hero instinct, one of the most significant things you should do is to let him manage to win your respect and admiration by working hard to make achievements. On the other hand, if a woman is completely overpowering, his man can hardly get the respect and admiration that he desires.

In fact, a huge number of married women are not good enough in meeting such a deep emotional need of their men, because men are unwilling to express it and they consciously choose to hide it. However, if you can pretend like you do not figure out what he secretly wants from you and meanwhile you try to let him earn your respect and admiration through his own efforts, you will become more alluring than before, thereby having better odds of captivating his heart.

The final word:

To have a committed, monogamous, and long-lasting marriage, your man should constantly feel respected and appreciated, and you should let him constantly realize how important he is to you as well as the relationship. After you draw out your husband’s hero instinct, you will see a better version of him; and hence you will have a more passionate and long-lasting relationship.

If you want to learn more about how to trigger your husband’s hero instinct, you might go on to read the page below; to help you increase your man’s relationship satisfaction, this page demonstrates what a man deeply desires in his woman and how to wisely use short and powerful phrases to trigger his hero instinct: