Is your marriage at risk? Do you notice some signs that your marriage is failing?
Inevitably, marriage can encounter all sorts of relationship problems. Unfortunately, a lot of couples don’t identify and address some crucial problems in time, instead, they let heir relationships deteriorate; and eventually, their marriages came to an end. To help you better protect your relationship, the following points out 6 common relationship red-flags, and you will also learn how to save your failing marriage according to those problems.
6 common signs that your marriage is failing:
(1) You feel like roommates:
If you feel you are less like his/her partner and more like a roommate. No doubt, this is one of the warning signs that your marriage is failing.
Surely, marital friendship is an essential factor for a happy marriage. But if the friendship just goes to a place where you are just friends and have no longer have an interest in sex, it will undermine the marriage.
In many cases of failing marriages, most of those couples start a relationship with passion, but within a few short years, they slip into a toxic relationship pattern that is characterized by a lack of sex.
Tips on how to save your failing marriage in this aspect:
The key to escaping the “friend zone” lies in increasing the eroticism and passion in the relationship.
Believe it or not, a lot of old married couples have sex lives on a regular basis, in spite of the declining sex ability. And don’t think sex lives just refers to the act of having sex, it also includes flirting, touching, kissing, embracing, holding, sharing sexual fantasies, and so on. Actually it is not difficult to turn these actions into your daily habits or rituals.
(2) You or your spouse had an emotional affair:
If a spouse has frequent emotional affairs, the significant other can experience the same extent of betrayal or breach of mutual trust as he/she would if his/her spouse had a physical affair. In some cases, an emotional affair can even make the victim feel worse anguish because his/her role has been replaced by someone else when it comes to meeting his/her spouse’s emotional needs. So if you or your spouse gets caught having an emotional affair, it’s important to take steps to get your marriage back on track.
Tips on how to save your failing marriage in this aspect:
When you are spotting this warning sign, no need to blame or judge, your marriage can survive, and just look at it in the context of your marriage:
Emotional affairs never occur in a vacuum. Usually, a person will have no thought of seeking someone else’s emotional needs unless his/her needs can’t be satisfied in his/her primary relationship. Therefore, carefully think about what was going on in your marriage prior to the occurrence of the affair. Acknowledge your spouse’s feelings and vice versa (probably, it has been a long time since the two of you share the innermost feelings), then work together to make a plan to make up the emotional needs.
(3) You are lack of communication:
Open communication is the basis of any healthy relationship. That means your marriage tends to fall apart as your mutual communication decreases gradually. The reasons for poor communication in marriage are very complicated, and it can vary from couple to couple, such as personality differences, busy lifestyles, over-familiarity, resentment relating to interpersonal differences, and so on.
Tips on how to save your failing marriage in this aspect:
Whatever the reason, set aside enough time to sit down and have a face-to-face talk. There are too many details you have to attend to when you are talking with your spouse about this issue. Anyway, the tips below may help you improve your communication in marriage:
- Don’t talk unless your spouse wants to listen. Stop doing anything and listen carefully to your spouse whenever he/she wants you to listen to him/her.
- Never yell at your spouse, no matter what.
- Put yourself in the shoes of your spouse during an argument or discussion, and express this point clearly to let him/her know that you care about his/her feelings.
- It is normal that sometimes you can’t make progress in communicating your thoughts; in this case, no need to feel frustrated or angry, just take a break or wait for the next conversation.
- Keep an open mind, and keep patience.
Related post:
4 annoying habits that cause communication barriers in marriage.
(4) You constantly bicker:
Incessant bickering is also one of the subtle signs that your marriage is failing because it only breeds resentment and decreases marital happiness. Therefore, if you notice that you have been bickering about an issue over and over, you should break free of this negative pattern as soon as possible.
Tips on how to save your failing marriage in this aspect:
- Try to make a positive and appreciative comment about your spouse during an argument.
- Use lightness and humor to bring an argument to a gracious conclusion.
- Don’t rake up the old stories all the time.
- In the marriage life, there is often nothing wrong with dissents, disagreements, and arguments per se.
- As the relationship develops over time, it seems that a lot of couples can’t be bothered to understand each other further, then they get used to interacting with each other in the same way. But don’t fall into this boring routine because habitual arguments only breed frustration. Instead, you should keep your mind curious; rediscover your curiosity about your spouse; in doing so, you will be less willing to get into pointless arguments.
(5) You don’t free up time for each other:
In the past, you must have ever missed your spouse when he/she was absent. However, absence can also be a deal-breaker that brings a relationship to a close. If both of you never free up time for each other, long term absence can make one of you wonder whether something goes wrong in the relationship, and then the mutual suspicion can grow increasingly as time goes on.
Tips on how to save your failing marriage in this aspect:
Understandably, sometimes it is hard to create an opportunity to spend time together due to a long distance or hectic schedule; but this should not be a reason to stay disconnected, and a regular connection is a key to maintaining a stable and committed relationship; no matter busy how you are, you are supposed to carve a little time out of your daily schedule for your partner, such as regularly sending text messages to express your greetings, making a five-minute phone call weekly/bi-weekly, and having an occasional but quick video chat.
(6) You are in an unequal relationship:
It is quite unobjectionable to make small compromises or sacrifices in a relationship sometimes. But if you realize that you compromise too much when your partner does anything he/she wants, unfortunately, you are actually in an unequal relationship. And it should be regarded as one of the warning signs that your marriage is failing. As a consequence of always staying in an unequal relationship, resentment will be built up; and eventually, it will cause you to blow up at your spouse.
Tips on how to save your failing marriage in this aspect:
If you always compromise to your spouse, probably you will end up feeling like a doormat; so you must learn how to properly compromise in order to have a harmonious marriage, here are some tips:
- Learn to negotiate with your spouse when you are dealing with a matter, and try to create win-win situations by looking for more common goals and common grounds.
- No need to fight over small things, you can make concessions in this case.
- Sometimes, it is quite hard or even impossible to reach a compromise on some critical issues. If your spouse is too set in his/her ways to make a change, first of all, you must let him/her accept a notion – “We don’t have to win every argument, we can agree to disagree.”
Is it possible to save your marriage if your marriage is found to have the signs above?
Through those warning signs, you can find and address many underlying marital problems. Many problematic marriage relationships can be strengthened and improved after some stubborn issues get resolved. Of course, whether you could get your marriage back on track depends on your efforts; if you feel overwhelmed when trying to move on with your married life, don’t give up easily, you might seek more expert tips about how to save your marriage life; here, you might go on to watch the video below to follow the comprehensive guidance that is offered by Brad Browning, a world-renowned marriage coach who has 12+ years of experience working with problematic couples to repair and improve their marriages:
Maybe, you are also interested in the related posts below:
What to do when your marriage is in crisis – Save the marriage.
6 tips on how to survive in an unhappy marriage without divorce.
Should you save your marriage – Questions to evaluate your marriage.
Signs your spouse wants a divorce – Is your marriage in crisis?
How to change yourself to save your marriage – Be your best.
Why you feel bored in your marriage – How to overcome boredom.
Causes of marriage failure – common reasons a marriage fails.