Now you have a gut feeling that your man is not completely devoted to his role as a husband, and you want to further confirm whether he is thinking about quitting the relationship. If so, you might read on;
Here’re several suspicious signs your husband has emotionally checked out:
1 Your husband no longer wants to fight with you:
This sign seems counterintuitive. Probably, in your eyes, your husband is always the guy who likes trying to pick a fight with you. But recently, he has turned into a quiet person. If so, don’t be overjoyed that you and your spouse have stopped bickering at one another. Probably, you desire to have a peaceful relationship with your man; however, as long as you think calmly, you will realize the current relationship status is also not exactly what you want because your husband seems cold and distant, especially if you admit problems are still left unresolved and that the bad feelings for each other remain although the fighting has already cooled off dramatically.
When your husband thinks that he can’t see a promising future with you, he will lose interest in continuing to fix relationship issues; hence, it also does not make sense for him to go on fighting over those issues.
Surely, constant fighting is not healthy; but ignoring serious problems and refusing to work those problems out can also be a warning sign that your man is resigned to ending the marriage.
2 Your man doesn’t want to talk about the future:
You and your husband used to work together towards planning the future of your marriage. Discussion about the future (e.g. taking a family vacation, buying a house, and having a kid) should be a normal part of the ongoing conversations with your man. So if you find your husband have seldom talked about the common future, especially if you find that your husband always tries to sidetrack you every time you raise the subject about the future of your marriage, you should take note; when your man would not like to discuss future endeavors with you, odds are he/she is not completely invested in the long-term relationship.
Don’t confuse commitment and love:
Commitment and love are two different things. If your man doesn’t want to build a common future with you, it indicates that you are in a relationship without an explicit long-term commitment, even though you feel that your man still loves you; actually, whether he still loves you or not is another question. In other words, love can lead to commitment, but this is not invariably the case.
In married life, a lack of commitment is a common contributor to divorce. Why? It can have a wide, serious impact on a marriage; in particular, if left unchecked, it can result in emotional infidelity, and a lack of mutual trust.
3 He is doing shady stuff with money:
As we all know, shared finances are an important pillar of a long-lasting marriage. And if you notice your spouse is doing some shady stuff with money without consulting you, the relationship is in trouble; and most likely he is preparing for something terrible that is about to happen to the marriage. For example, have you noticed that money is mysteriously moving around? Another example, have you noticed that recently when he came out of your house, he had held much more cash than usual? No doubt, this type of secrecy around money is a dubious move. It can mean many good or bad things, but the majority of them are not good.
You should not lose sight of the fact that a lot of spouses who want a divorce will transfer assets ahead of time. After all, most divorces involve splitting assets. A spouse who wants a divorce may consider trying to put some amount of money somewhere that the other spouse can not access; even sometimes, when a spouse is found to hide money, he/she has already hired an attorney to start divorce proceedings.
But anyway, you had better not jump to a conclusion prematurely unless you can determine the intention behind his financial secrecy.
4 He has stopped confiding in you:
In the past, your man would like to talk about anything with you, whether it is an important thing or an unnecessary thing; probably in your mind, most of the time when your man talked with you, he had a quick tongue and always said what he thought without much deliberation; but now you feel like he stops regarding you as someone he can feel free to talk to, instead he becomes less talkative and more task-oriented. Maybe, you start to hear from other people about changes in your man’s life, or his events that he would usually have told you about.
Even the serious lack of emotional connection may make you feel like the marriage has become a solely business partnership, and now the two of you band together just by some ties of common interests.
When your man stops confiding in you, it not only means he no longer feels the closeness he admired early in the relationship but also means he thinks that you are not so trustworthy and supportive as before. Therefore, this should be viewed as one of the warning signs your husband has emotionally checked out.
5 He becomes selfish and independent:
As your man mentally detaches from the marriage, he will be less and less considerate of your feelings. That is to say, an obvious manifestation of his emotional detachment is that he will become selfish and independent when dealing with issues in your married life. On the surface, he appears to redefine his role in the relationship, and maybe you also think so in the beginning; but over time, probably you will realize that he is trying to change his world – he is imaging a new world without you, and he is acting as he wishes. He feels unhappy in the marriage, and he thinks that you and he can not work together on some important life goals that you or he desires to achieve; then he will entertain the idea: instead of getting tangled up with you, he would rather be alone.
6 He often looks preoccupied or is often absent:
If your man is staying out late often, and showing little interest in spending time together, that is very likely one of the signs that he has emotionally checked out. If he constantly feels unhappy, unsatisfied in the relationship, he may think about quitting the relationship and preparing for life apart; but in the meanwhile, maybe he is still reluctant to release the emotional baggage; he struggles with this dilemma; hence, he may often look preoccupied while you and he stay together.
In particular, if you notice that your husband has often absented himself from home and then engaged in social activities that are not known to you, the chances of his checking out of the relationship are higher.
For more tips, you might go on to read the post below:
What to do when your husband is preoccupied.
7 He does not want to talk about things about you:
Early in the marriage, I bet your man was interested in things about you, even if they are ramblings about your life; and from time to time, he casually asked you some simple questions that just demonstrate his concern for you. But now, your man has dismissed small talk with you (maybe, you can’t remember the last time he asked you “How are you?”, “What is happening at your work?”, or “How was your day?“); and probably you strongly feel that he is not affectionate towards you, it seems that anything about you can not attract his attention; and whenever you try to talk to him about interesting things that are happening in your personal life, he just switches your talk to some other irrelevant topics, or he just uses a few short, unmeaning words to end the conversation.
Generally, a husband who has emotionally checked out of his marriage is not interested in engaging in a meaningful conversation with his wife; therefore, he will try to avoid initiating a conversation with his wife. Even though his wife tries to initiate a long conversation with him, he will try to end the conversation as quickly as possible. No doubt, this kind of pattern reveals that he has ceased to care about his woman.
To keep your man in love with you, you might need to better understand the male ego:
Nobody likes to be belittled and criticized, and yet men are particularly more sensitive in this area. In other words, men have a more fragile ego; the male ego is never something to be messed with; instead, a woman needs to learn to protect and stroke her man’s ego. In a marriage, a husband’s greatest emotional need is to feel irreplaceable, important, and significant – a man naturally has a hero instinct, and he secretly wants to be his woman’s hero in the couple world; therefore, in your married life, if your husband feels you often make him feel like a loser, not a winner, he will become cold, distant, and withdrawn.
And even if a woman hurts her man’s ego inadvertently, he will also pull away emotionally; and don’t think that a man with a bruised ego would like to stay in his current relationship for a long time; over time, if the hurt is left unaddressed, his severely bruised ego can lead to chronic insecurity, depression, and feelings of being rejected; and this can cause him to consider seeking another woman who can make him feel appreciated, special, and cherished.
Unfortunately, a lot of women do not fully understand the male ego, not to mention how to stroke a man’s ego; and this may cause them to feel stuck, confused, and frustrated when their men feel hurt and suddenly become quiet and distant.
Therefore, if you sense that your man has been unhappy and depressed for a long time, but meanwhile you just feel that everything is normal, don’t think he is not quite right in the head; in this situation, you might be concerned about his ego; probably what you said and did hurt his ego but you didn’t realize it, and it can be one of the early signs your husband has emotionally checked out.
By the way, if you want to learn more about how to protect your man’s ego, you might go on to read the posts below:
How to deal with your man’s ego – The male ego in marriage.
10 tips on how to boost your husband’s ego – Stroke his ego.
The final word:
If you just notice one of the above signs, you do not have to accuse him prematurely; after all, reasonable suspicion does not mean absolute certainty. And even if your husband is exhibiting several of the above signs, don’t despair. Probably, the relationship still does not pass the point of no return; and your marriage can thrive again after you successfully work through this marital crisis.
If you want to learn more about how to salvage your marriage when your spouse wants out, you might go on to read the page below to follow the comprehensive guidance that is offered by Brad Browning, a marriage coach with 12+ years of experience:
Maybe, you are also interested in the related posts below:
How to deal with an emotionally distant husband – Make him open up.
Why you feel unloved by your husband – How to save your marriage.
How to mend the marriage when your husband says hurtful words.
How to keep your husband happy and faithful – Be a better wife.
What should you do when your husband says he hates you?
How to connect more with your husband – Make him feel connected.
What does it mean when you feel like your husband hates you?