Things can not go well all the time in your married life; you and your wife need to make continuous efforts to make the marriage work. No doubt, love is a crucial part of a marriage; without it, people can hardly stay together happily. There are times when your wife loses the passion in the relationship as she used to do; at that time, you should fully take your responsibility of keeping the long-term marriage alive; when it comes to how to make your wife fall in love with you again, it largely depends on how to change your ways to treat her.
The following points out 4 things that you can do to rekindle the love:
1 Make your wife feel feminine and girly again:
A simple way to get your wife to fall in love again is to make her feel girly and feminine consistently in response to your masculinity. After years of married life, a married couple may become very neural around each other – in this case, a wife may think she is no longer feminine around her man; likewise, a husband may assume that he is no longer so masculine around his woman; as things go on this, the sexual excitement and spark fizzles.
To better understand this relationship issue, you might think about it in this way: for a battery to keep working, the cathode and anode need to continuously react through an electrolyte medium; and you might also think about it like this: for two magnets that are brought together, their opposite poles attract each other, but the like poles repel each other naturally; the same applies to interpersonal attraction and intimate relationships in terms of feminine and masculine energy. For sexual attraction to remain charged and alive, a clear feminine and masculine energy are required.
As the routine of married life settles, a lot of husbands make a common mistake – they treat their wives as neutral friends, not feminine women; even some husbands expect their women to act, feel and think like a man, they hate their women to be girly, irrational, and emotional like when they were passionately in love. When a husband makes his woman feel neutral or even asks her to adopt a more masculine manner of being, it ruins the sexual intimacy, and it can hardly make his woman love him in a romantic way.
Remember, when you make your woman feel girly and feminine in response to your masculinity, naturally, she feels like a sexy woman; therefore, she will be more likely to feel excited about falling in love with you again.
As explained above, you actually have much direct control or influence over the attraction your woman feels for you, because much of her attraction for you is based on how you make her feel while interacting with her.
2 Be the man that she can consistently respect and look up to:
Nobody’s life is straightforward and easy all the time. Along the way to happiness, success, and personal fulfillment, everyone encounters all kinds of life obstacles and life challenges from time to time. You and your wife are also not exceptional.
To properly deal with our life’s ups and downs, we should have a more open-minded, and patient perspective about our life, rather than be idealistic and naïve; but there are times when we lack some fundamental wisdom about our daily life; in that case, we just stubbornly insist that things should go in the way that we expect, but gradually we find things don’t go as we expect, then we get caught in the trap of becoming stressed and depressed, and we look at our lives negatively and think that our life will not be better no matter how hard we try.
And a lot of men often make a mistake: when they are feeling emotionally beaten up or confused by their lives’ ups and downs, they frequently turn to their women for emotional guidance and support. Of course, when a partner is under tremendous pressure, it is not wrong to show emotional vulnerability to the significant half. A woman often feels safe to show her emotional vulnerability to intimate people around her. But a woman does not want his man to act like her, most of the time a woman expects his man to deal with a frustrating, or depressing situation like a real man; in a woman’s mind, wasting much time feeling emotional is never what a real man does when life hits him hard; and she wants a man who can face difficulties bravely and focus on a solution;
Women are born to have more freedom to go around and around in emotional circles; this can be viewed as a part of a woman’s femininity. But by comparison, a man needs to be forward-moving, clear, and direct, this can be regarded as a part of a man’s masculinity.
Of course, every man feels the negative emotions inevitably at some point; but to be a masculine husband that your wife can respect and look up to, probably you need to be more decisive, responsible, committed, cool-headed, and forward-moving when you face difficult times. This should be viewed as an important part of your masculinity that can attract her and make him fall in love again.
3 Change how she feels about you, rather than ask her to change for you:
In a long-term relationship, sometimes a woman’s actions, attitude, and thinking might annoy her man; and how a man approaches the annoyances can either drive his woman further apart or bring her closer to him. For example, a husband may complain that his wife often calls her friends to yap away for hours about insignificant things, he demands that she should change the pattern, and his intention is to want her to spend more time with him; however, from his woman’s perspective, it is a pleasant and comfortable thing for her to chat on the phone with her friends, she is unwilling to change the habit, so she may think that he is too controlling or selfish, or she may feel upset and disappointed because she thinks that he still does not understand her deeply. Then this causes a relationship rift.
Many times, when a man wants his woman to realize relationship problems caused by her inappropriate behavior, it is counter-productive to directly ask her to change; especially if a man urges his woman to give up something to spend more time with him, probably she will feel reluctant and unhappy, and it will easily arouse her resentment; instead, a more effective and positive way is to win her attraction and respect for him. More importantly, this significantly helps reduce conflicts and improve the relationship. When a woman’s feelings of attraction and respect for her man are triggered, she will naturally feel the need to enhance the connection with him, and she will also not want to waste much time away from him.
4 Give her sincere compliments without expecting anything in return:
Both women and men need appreciation. And there must be some compliments that a woman wants to hear from her man; especially if she receives objective compliments pertaining to things that she puts a lot of hard work into, she feels delighted and gratified; don’t look down upon those compliments, they can increase the level of her self-esteem, and they make her feel that she is still desirable and attractive in the eyes of her man; hence, as long as a man can give his woman sincere compliments from time to time, it greatly helps get her close to him and keep intimacy alive.
When a woman values her man’s compliments, she also naturally feels the need to look up to him and respect him.
Furthermore, when you want to compliment on some positive changes in how she acts, thinks around you, make sure not to ask for her compliments to you in return, and make sure your compliments don’t involve any interest or malicious intention; otherwise, your compliments will only disgust her. Ironically, after giving your woman compliments she deserves, most likely she will become more willing to express love and affection in return. Surely, even if your woman doesn’t return any favor, don’t whine and complain;
Inevitably, there are some complaints in a long-term relationship. And to alter her of her unsatisfactory behavior (such as getting used to taking you for granted, and not expressing her inner emotions with words), it is fine to complain to her in an easy-going, and confident way; but if you complain and whine about her disappointing behavior in an emotionally needy way, she often feels hard to accept it, even she may keep an emotional distance from you.
The final word:
Every woman wants to stay with a man that can make her feel protected, emotionally safe, and hopeful about her life and her future. So when your woman pulls away from you emotionally, you should focus on what you can do to change the relationship dynamic, rather than focus on how to ask her to change for you.
For more tips on how to make your wife fall in love with you again, you might go on to read the page below to follow the comprehensive guidance that is offered by Brad Browning, a marriage coach with 12+ years of experience:
Maybe you are also interested in the related posts below:
How to rekindle sexual intimacy when your wife becomes a roommate.
How to fix the marriage when your spouse hurts your feelings.
When your marriage is stale, how to fix it and keep it alive.
What a wife needs in a marriage – Basic needs of a woman.
How to make your wife feel appreciated – Keep these in mind.